Birdsword

Its Raining Out-So I'm Cooking...

2009-06-20T16:57:00.001-04:00

So, Its been awhile, but all this rain is forcing me to do some indoor activities. These include reading Mark Bittman's latest book Food Matters. Which has started me back to doing something I used to do all the time, cook up beans, only now with more flair. I made two pots of beans, Chickpeas which I added lemon juice, sea salt, cilantro, olive oil, & black pepper. I saved some for my rice I cooked yesterday. I also made lentils and a whole pot of lentil soup. The problem is, I added a can of stop-n-shop tomato sauce. I didn't realize had more than tomatoes in it. I has something called "spice" I am not sure what that means, but the soup tastes VERY salty now. Bittman claims "spice" can be another word for MSG. (Great I am trying to eat healthy, but instead I am giving myself palpitations with MSG.) However, I cannot find anything that substantiates that. Anyone with info I would be happy to hear from.

Birthday Blessings

2008-03-16T11:33:00.003-04:00

I had to update my blog asap. I spent my 40th birthday in birthday funland. I didn't want my 40th year to be remembered as bad. I had a great day, with lots of friends etc. My husband is amazing. He got me some fabulous gifts and has a heart of gold. He really treated me. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Plus I forgot to mention that it was also International Women's Day. This is a holiday that is near and dear to my heart for many reasons. (Not just cuz it is on my birthday.)

Anyway, that is all I have time for. I am supremely grateful for all the love and joy I have in my life.

My birthday wish would be to keep joy and love in my heart and surroundings. To have a happy and healthy family, for there to be peace on our beautiful planet, and for all children to be safe, fed and happy. That and for a personal shout into the universe for our family to be green by going green, getting more green and giving green away!

Turning Forty on the Rag

2008-03-06T13:24:00.005-05:00

I am not sure what is going on with me-could be I am turning forty or it could be I am turning forty and will have my period at the same time, who knows? All I know is I am a little blue. Turns out that spring is not giving me the happiness I so need, nor the energy-even with the windows open.

Turns out I don't want to do much of anything-not exercise even though I know it will make me feel good. Not write, because it is so much work. I am only typing this because, well because I don't know what else to do right now. Home from work and I certainly DON'T want to clean the house.

Turning forty is supposed to be fun, the new 30 or something like that. I should go back out and get a tattoo, but I think around here it is too WT for us these days. My family isn't around, my friends are far away-I guess I am turning forty without the fun. I just want to cry, & I don't want to post this, but it is what I feel. And how honest is an online journal if you don't write what you feel?

I want to feel better, maybe if I just type away and post it, it will all be gone, all out there and into the world for better or for worse. So I don't have to feel so sad and well simply blue. I know we have plans for the actual date and I am excited to be with my husband and with the people that are nearby, but my mom and sister and family aren't here, my two closest friends are too far away caught up in their own lives at the moment-death and birth can really occupy the body.

Agh - cripes what is the use, I also don't want any fucking phone calls related to this. That is not what this is all about. I guess it is all about life and how getting caught up in the reality of life has kept me from being the fun loving person I know I am. The fun loving person I am fighting to be beside my gene pool of financial anxiety.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

2:50pm
Update:

I just exercised, so of course I feel better now.

Let me explain my self better. I do not blame anyone for my emotional outburst. I am upset primarily because I need a shift of consciousness in my life. Things are far too hectic in my life . I am scrambling to maintain friendships with people I love and never see, with people who are close and with those of whom are far away. I believe the type of person I am is someone who wants time to be with those of whom I love and enjoy their company on a regular basis. The time and energy this requires is more than I have to give-that is the unfortunate part. I am so tired, so stressed that I barely have time to ejnoy my family let alone my friends. The shift I am talking about is something that I would like this household to undertake, but I am not quite sure how to do it. It is not only about getting a new job with less stress, it is also not just about finances-it is about enjoying life. isn't that why you have family and friend to begin with?

Writing for Women's History Month

2008-02-17T21:26:00.003-05:00

Over at What Tami Said there is a Women's History Blog Carnival from March 1st-13th. Submissions are due by Feb. 28th. For any woman who is interested in submitting a post, visit the above link to find out what the criteria are.

I think it sound fairly interesting. I hope to have something ready for the deadline. I am not sure that I will as I haven't really had any writing time for myself in quite awhile. It is odd, apparently I have either time to exercise or time to blog - not both. Considering that I am turning 40 next month and my cholesterol has been high for the past couple of years-I actually need to start getting healthier. So exercise has been winning out. I have a fear of becoming a medical statistic of family abandonment. But that is a whole other thing to write about. Anyway I really enjoy What Tami Said and I think that the carnival should be an interesting read.

Don't Flush that BlackBerry!

2008-01-31T19:30:00.000-05:00

My husband told me something totally disturbing that he observes at work. Men go into the bathroom stall in the mens room talking on their cell phones. The stall for all you uneducated female readers is where men go to poop not pee. (Or a place to go if you are a homophobic married right wing republican senator interested in touching another mans "feet".) They do this in the corporate world while on a conference calls/business calls some of the time! How do they wipe? Where is the "clean" hand? What do the other people in the conference think of this invasion of privacy?

Men also think it is OK to use their BlackBerry while in a stall. This is called BBWP. My question is, how sanitary is that blackberry afterwards? It gives a whole new meaning for the BlackNuggetBerry as in YUCK! They leave while still using it and they DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS! My husband (who thankfully does not own a blackberry) observes this on a daily basis. I am happy to say he is equally as grossed out as I am.

Flashback Sunday or Recollections from Mammary Lane

2008-01-20T19:10:00.001-05:00

image taken from AMNH website

We went to the American Museum of Natural History in NYC today. As we were getting ready to leave we slipped into the hall of mammals and I had a flashback to two years ago.

We were in the museum and my newborn (now two) was crying. My two year old (now four) was running around like a chicken without his head. I nursed my baby on the wooden seats with giant elephants as a backdrop. That is to say-I whipped out my mammary gland right there in the darkened Akekely Hall of African Mammals. How appropriate!

It is fun to link an institution as fabulous as the AMNH with such an amazing memory. I was exhausted and tired back then-I guess little has changed. I doubt I will ever get the chance to nurse again. So I am glad that I will always have the Hall of Mammals to remind me of my human-ness.

Dr. Tiller Needs Your Help

2008-01-16T21:44:00.000-05:00

I received this letter from the Feminist Majority Foundation
and thought that it was worth passing on. Dr. George Tiller and his remarkable staff
need your help. They provide a really difficult service for many women and
families in need. I urge you to write his staff and thank them for the work they do
and if you have the money to donate to his help keep his clinic up and running.

This post was cross posted at BlogHer

Dear Birdsword,
Dr. Tiller needs your help! The extremists are trying to shut him down. In what could become a "witch hunt", a grand jury has begun its investigation of Dr. George Tiller for supposed violations of Kansas abortion law.

The grand jury was convened after the extremist group Operation Rescue joined with Kansans for Life to file a citizen petition under an 1887 Kansas law. It took only 6,186 signatures to launch this latest attack in a relentless campaign to close down this vitally needed clinic.

We must do all we can to keep this clinic safe and open. Please donate today - half of your contribution will go directly to Dr. Tiller to defray legal costs and half will go to our clinic defense team working to protect this clinic as well as many other women's health clinics across the nation.

Please also show your support by sending Dr. Tiller and his staff at Women's Health Care Services a letter, letting them know how much you appreciate their continued work to protect women's health and lives in the face of continuing attacks on their clinic.

Despite over 20 years of anti-abortion harassment, intimidation, and violence, his clinic was bombed in 1986 and he was shot five times in 1993, Dr. Tiller remains steadfast in his mission to provide compassionate and quality healthcare to women seeking late term abortions because of illness or very troubled pregnancies. He is there when few other doctors will help.

The Feminist Majority Foundation's National Clinic Access Project, the oldest and largest in the country, has worked with Dr. Tiller for more than 15 years to counter the constant attacks and threats of anti-abortion activists. We must make it clear now that we will not allow a small group of zealots pervert the law to advance their extremist agenda.

1. Donate now to help Dr. Tiller and the Feminist Majority Foundation keep clinics safe, open, and free of harassment and intimidation.

2. Please send Dr. Tiller and his staff a letter of support, reminding them how many feminists stand behind them in their fight for women's lives.

For Women's Lives,

Eleanor Smeal President	Katherine Spillar Executive Vice President

Remember, January 22nd is the 35th anniversary of Roe v Wade.
Without clinics, there is no choice. Please show your support today!

It hurts-edited version

2008-01-12T20:47:00.000-05:00

In my job there are so many devastating stories I hear on a regular basis. This blog is not where I can talk about them without feeling like I am breaking my agencies privacy laws. I want to tell the world about the sad stories I hear, about the lives of women who need health care, family planning, food, shelter and a safe place away from their abusers. I can't tell their stories, but I can say that there are so many more "stories" I hear on a regular basis, many would break anyones heart. I can't talk about them. I probably can't even post my unedited version.

I want to document about the other services I provide and how thankful that the patients are getting a procedure that they need in a health, respectful, clean environment. I am thanked and hugged on a regular basis for the services I provide. I can't post about this for fear of retribution from crazy people.

It is hard not to be able to talk about this stuff. So here I am vagueness and all venting, clearing my head and moving forward.

Mandatory HIV Testing in NJ

2008-01-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

Recently I posted a response to mandatory testing on Our Bodies Our Blog website regarding mandatory HIV testing in the state of NJ.

I probably was writing too fast and thinking about what toys the kids were throwing in my lap as I typed, because I did not get my point across very well.

I shall say I am NOT for the state forcing patients to do things they do not want to do. I am for making mandates to make sure patients get the health care they deserve. There are a few issues that concern me about OB/GYN health care and HIV testing.

Physicians in private practice do not always do what the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists (ACOG) suggests. They don't always test gonorrhea and chlamydia on all OB patients. They are selective in that for clinic patients they will test, but not private practice. Read into this, I certainly do.
Physicians/clinicians don't always have the time to educate their patients regarding certain tests. A patient will actively decline a test without really being educated about the test. So someone who is offered and declines HIV testing may be refusing because she thinks she is safe. There is the strong probability that nobody spent a significant amount of time educating the patient as to why this test is important. MD's use pre-judgement just as much as the rest of us do. They will pre-judge a patient, or use their own values to help a patient make a decision. For example to to fetal testing or not. This test is often pushed in an OB/GYN office not HIV testing.

So maybe the state mandated HIV testing for a variety of reasons. Cost being one, and also Physician accountability. ACOG recommends HIV testing for all women, not all MD's offer the test.

Also I would like to say that there are many tests that are mandated upon a patient at the hospital level that are regulated by the Department of Health (ie the state). I find it interesting that mandatory HIV testing is so openly discussed, while I have never heard any opposition to other tests being done.

Again, I will reiterate I believe HIV testing should be offered to all pregnant women with the same counseling offered for genetics testing. I do not believe the state has a write to force a patient to do a test if s/he declines.

Hope that clears things up-or opens up the discussion some more.

The Struggle to Survive

2008-01-04T23:33:00.001-05:00

I have to work tomorrow and I am going to miss my sons very first soccer practice. He has been looking forward for this since Nov. when I signed him up, so has his little brother. Hopefully my husband will remember to catch it on video.

I love my job, I hate the hours. (oh and the pay).

Yes I know this isn't world news, nothing to do with politics, but in a sense it does. I want to know which of the candidates for presidency is really listening to the sense of unreality for working families. I could go on about this, but really it is very stressful for me. I take care of so many people who are so poor. I know that I am lucky to have a roof over my head and shouldn't complain, because at least my kid is going to play soccer, he eats well, stays warm and has clean clothing. I take care of families who cross the border under terrible conditions, only to be treated like dogs in this country. Many can't read or write. I believe they still deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Do any of the politicians think about this?

I take care of pregnant teens, boys, girls, men and women with sexually transmitted diseases, yet "abstinence only" is the trademark slogan of our donkey of a president.

I work in a community where living with rape and surviving rape is common. Where sexual abuse by a family member is also common, where drugs, alcohol, prison, are part of the community. Many are struggling to remove themselves from this situation. While others just fall again and again. Yet I have to believe that my voice will somehow make a difference to someone. I hope the patients listen, I know politicians won't.

Up Dreams! and other alt. realities

2008-01-02T22:34:00.000-05:00

My older son (4) got a bit annoyed with me today because I didn't know what and "up dream" was. It's an awake dream" he told me excitedly. (DUH MOM)

son : "I had another one, I was a power ranger and there was a girl"

me : (thinking to myself, a girl, why is he dreaming of girls he is only 4) "What was the girl doing?"

son: "she turned into a power ranger- we just transformed ourselves."

he danced merrily off to "up dream" some more.

Recycle Your Tree

2008-01-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

Your Christmas tree making you sneeze? Sick of all the needles on the floor? It is time to dump your tree. All you people with dying Christmas trees go to this site to help you figure out where to throw out your tree responsibly. I got the info from the Green Guide email go to "tip of the week" for more info on recycling your tree.

Happy New Year to everyone!

I don't HEART huckabee

2008-01-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

GAG I just quickly read an interview with Tim Russet from Meet the Press posted on Crooks and Liars. I am going to vomit. If Huckabee becomes president we are a doomed nation. This man will bring down the ice age with his ignorance and religious beliefs. When did becoming a fundamentalist minister make it OK for a person to run for president?
Here is an excerpt from the MSNBC site regarding abortion and punishing the MD (who by the way appears to be male):

GOV. HUCKABEE: It would be. And I think you don't punish the woman, first of all, because it's not about--I consider her a victim, not a, not a criminal. You would...
MR. RUSSERT: But you would punish the doctor.
GOV. HUCKABEE: I think if a doctor knowingly took the life of an unborn child for money, and that's why he was doing it, yeah, I think you would, you would find some way to sanction that doctor. I don't know that you'd put him in prison, but there's something to me untoward about a person who has committed himself to healing people and to making people alive who would take money to take an innocent life and to make that life dead. There's something that just doesn't ring true about the purpose of medical practice when the first rule of the Hippocratic Oath is "First, do no harm." Well, if you take the life and suction out the pieces of an unborn child for no reason than its inconvenience to the mother, I don't think you've lived up to your Hippocratic Oath of doing no harm.

Huckabee is CLUELESS, ignorant and not fit to be the president of the US. Maybe he can start up a cult and move to another country or something. Isn't that what crazy cultist people normally do?

NFL HELL/Saved by Flavor Flav

2007-12-30T16:22:00.001-05:00

3 yes, you heard me 3 fucking channels of NFL football last night. So much for watching TV. Between HBO re-runs and football there was nothing on. But why 3 channels? CBS, ABC (?) and whatever channel 9 is here. WHY??? I don't recall this ever happening before.

I felt bad for all the poor dudes in the sports bars around the nation. I am sure they didn't know which channel to look at first. I imaged the headlines the next day :

AP reports Local Hospitals Inundated With Drunken Whiplashed Men. ER doctors reported: "The 20 -30 somethings were drunk with whiplash, while all the over 40's ended up in the cardiac unit suffering from mild heart attacks. These men are so out of shape, that all the head spinning, beer guzzling and wing sucking forced there fat tired bodies into overload."

I guess I could've read. Instead I zoned out to the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav. Totally hysterical, and very un-PC. The feminist in me cringed at poor Bridgettes vagina jokes, but a roast is a roast is a roast.

RIF and RIP

2007-12-29T16:12:00.000-05:00

In my quest to read I have finally started a book- The Kite Runner. I am reading it because my cousin told me "It is the best book I have ever read.". It is disturbingly interesting, and frustrating to read in snippets, but I am enjoying get lost in the book. I usually do not read books that are being turned into movies because I can't stand the hype, but I know I won't ever get a chance to see this movie in a theatre any time soon.

I also have been trying to read the weekend news papers as I feel I am sadly uninformed about local, national and international news. I was really happy to read the Sun. NYTimes magazine about people who passed on this year. The people (and animals) they are highlighting are surprisingly not celebrities. It is refreshing to read about people who have made their mark for actually doing remarkable things such as:
soldiers speaking out against the US Iraqi war machine
a sportsman suffering loss with dignity
reporters who reported the truth and not fact sheets from the government
a brilliant black blogger who lived in quiet anonymity
heroic intelligent women who decided to be something other than follow traditional norms
animals who taught humans about communication
and many others whose passing would have gone on unnoticed by most of us even though they all left and indelible mark on humanity.

I suppose a really awesome blogger would set up links to all these people. I guess you'll have to find them on your own as I have to get the kids to clean up and turn off that damn tv bc we certainly broke the American Academy of Pediatrics 2 hour limit today.

NJG vs X-mas paper

2007-12-23T12:26:00.000-05:00

So this NJG (nice Jewish girl) finally figured out what you NCG (nice Christian girls) already know. Shiny wrapping paper can blind you.

After wrapping 7 gifts or so for my co-workers with some shiny paper I unknowingly purchased from retail hell giant the Christmas tree store I felt blinded. I hate wrapping, this took longer and I should've worn sun glasses. Why does anybody buy that stuff anyway? I will know better for next year!

PROUD WINNER of the QUEEN OF CHEEZE AWARD

2007-12-17T14:30:00.002-05:00

I currently am the proud winner of the Queen of Cheeze award, for cheesiest post on 12/16/07 . This is probably the cheesiest thing I have written to date, but where else can I write this important family stuff? My kids have to have something other than crazy rants to remember me by!

Oh and if you haven't heard of this award yet don't worry you aren't out of sync with the blogging world like I am, it is because I just made it up. I don't even have a fancy widget for it, but would love one. (anyone interested in teaching me how to make widgets?)

Snow, Beautiful Snow!

2007-12-16T10:53:00.001-05:00

I am so thankful for our neighbor coming and plowing us out. It gave my husband and I time to take the kids outside and go snow boogie boarding on their new snow boogie boards (thanks to their great aunt B and uncle M.). We had a blast, screaming and yelling as we slid down our little backyard hill. Now they are upstairs, warming up and getting ready to drink hot cocoa, with yes marshmallows in it.

There is nothing more precious than watching my children go down on their sleds with their daddy smiling, giggling and screaming! What fun!

HOLIDAY MEME

2007-12-13T15:21:00.000-05:00

As asked at Blogher, here is my first MEME ever.

For all the complaints I have heard around the net, it was actually kind of fun.

CHRISTMAS MEME

1.Real tree or artificial or treeless? Any special traditions with the tree? real tree

2. Eggnog or Cider or Mulled Wine? none

3. Spiritual or Secular celebration? spiritual

4. Favorite Christmas music? El Vez-the Mexican Elvis singing Christmas songs in espanol rockin'!

5. One special holiday memory.
when my husband to be dragged me out for a walk to the Hudson river one freezing cold Christmas morn, and asked me to marry him!
HANNUKAH MEME

1. Describe your Menorah. wehave about 5, my grandmothers covered in wax, each son has a pretty painted one, my mom got us a serious silver religous one, and our friend gave us a funky one

2. Sour Cream or Applesauce with your Latkes? APPLESAUCE ONLY!

3. Favorite Holiday dish. Latkes

4. Were you with Family this year? yes

5. One special Holiday memory. My sons 2 & 4 jumping up and down to light their menorahs every night and explaining every night that they can't blow out the candles.

Chrismakah

2007-12-09T17:58:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know to some that that is anti-religious or whatever, but to us it is the fun word we use to celebrate this time of year. We celebrate both Chanukah and Christmas. Today we put up the tree, and later tonight we will light the menorah. Sometimes it is a tricky situation-as with my family who still are uncomfortable with all things Christian. But to me, it is a celebration of light, love and family. I enjoy both holidays with equal amounts of anticipation, cooking, and fun.

I can't expect my husband to give up a holiday never mind a religion he loves, and I know he doesn't expect me to give up any of my traditions either. I am sure through the years this will take a lot of working out. But I have faith in our love and think we will do what is best for our children. So family be warned-don't be so negative about that which you do not understand. Acceptance is key to understanding and love!

woman vs. latke!

2007-12-04T14:57:00.000-05:00

In the quest for supermommydom I took today off to make the first night of chanukah a memorable one for my two boys ages 4 and 2. In this quest I even made it to pre-school and did the whole menorah spiel for all the other 3 and 4 year olds. Getting to the god/miracle of light part was hard for me, I gulped sputtered, the teacher tried to help by saying "god" (I wasn't sure I could even say "god" in the classroom-it is a non-denominational Y.) I whispered god and said the universe a little louder. Sweating in front of pre-schoolers is never fun!)

That over I ran home to put a brisket (yes I am a grownup now...I said brisket) in the slow cooker and started hand grating potatoes and onions. 10 potatoes later, a 1/4 cup of matzo meal, plus 3 eggs some salt and pepper I was ready to fry. And man now I know why I hate frying! Luckily I wear glasses or the oil would've went right into my eye. A few splatters later I learned my lesson plus a new one:

It takes a long time to brown a latke when you (are a baby) &have to lower the heat!

November is over!?

2007-11-30T14:46:00.000-05:00

no time to post!
I can't believe I haven't posted in 10 days.
that being said I finally had a gyn exam and a pap (three years late), plus a primary care MD appt and the cholesterol panel I had due (only 1 year late)...and I started walking at night-ok only one night this week but that is better than nothing! Lets see what else-I need a mammo in march (guess my age here...)and um oh yea, next goal is to read a book.

wow!

a post boring , but a post.

Nothing on pvc update,oh but we did get very exciting news. Our good friends adopted a beautiful baby boy who was born 11.21.07! Our family is very excited and can't wait to see the newest member or their household! Congrats Friends! you know who you are!!!

PVC in clothing Part 2

2007-11-20T23:21:00.000-05:00

I sent of this letter tonight to Fox 5 News:

I saw your show tonight on Bisphenol A and how it is getting into our foods. I have been very interested lately in the toxicity of certain chemicals that are being found in the food we eat, clothing we wear and toys our children play with. I am specifically interested in a company called US Polo Assn who despite the American flag on their clothing, has the clothing made in China. This is a manufacturer who markets clothing to Burlington, Sears, etc. I purchased a toddler jacket for my son, only to find out that the shell was 80% Poly vinyl chloride, a carcinogenic material that stores like Target and Walmart are removing from their shelves. I was surprised that a clothing company would make something this toxic for a child to wear. I wrote to both Burlington (where I purchased the coat and returned it) and to US Polo Assn. They have ignored me. Will Fox 5 investigate?

I picked Fox 5, because I was impressed by their clip on Bisphenol A an estrogen found in canned foods and plastics. I thought they may look into things as clearly I am not getting anywhere with Burlington or US Polo Assn. If you are interested in them doing the story- feel free to write to Fox 5 here.

kidspeaque

2007-11-16T20:35:00.003-05:00

I know this has been done before, but hell, my kids really made me smile with these two qoutes!

From the mouth of son #1:

"mommy, I feel bad-my heart is broken, but I still love you"

(we were driving home from school/daycare and I don't know why he said this)

From the mouth of son #2:

"I want to sleep with mommy's boob-boobs, they are hot"

(we were in bed and I was trying to get him to sleep, it was a cold night and you know the boobs are warm!)

sometimes it is all too much for me

2007-11-13T20:06:00.000-05:00

omg
i think i am sinking
work
screaming kids
screaming patients
angry staff
overworked underpaid
stressed out

i didn't even write a note
in my last few charts
because I had to get the kids
why do we overbook?
why don't we care about the clinicians
why am I sinking?

I don't feel like being funny
not even sarcasm is
making its way to my brain
I am sick of
all
this
shit

NPR is doing a series on consumerism on the show marketplace. I went to look for the sound clip, but I can't post it. Basically some Harvard professor summed up my existence in a nut shell.

Americans are increasingly tied down by debt -- that's nothing new. But Harvard professor Elizabeth Warren says the rising costs of bare necessities, not luxuries, might change the very nature of America.

Consumer spending on fun things is down. People are living paycheck to paycheck paying for their mortgage, cars to commute to work, daycare, kids clothing. Food is down, giant tvs down she also said something about america changing based upon our financial debt. I need a bail out-sure wish there was farm aid for the middle class

GO Paula GO!!!

2007-11-05T10:06:00.002-05:00

Photo byKATHY WILLENS / AP

This morning on the way to school my four year old son asked me who my favorite super hero is. Little did I know, I would have a *real* answer for him. Paula Radcliffe-Super Hero, Super Mom. She ran the NYC marathon and won in the women's division after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl 9 months ago!

I started crying! Instead of running out the door to do my errands before work or sleeping- I decided to get my flabby ass on the treadmill. I thought of Paula, training throughout her entire pregnancy. I thought of how when I came home from work tired and pregnant I sat on the couch with my two boyfriends: Ben and Jerry-sucking down chubby hubby by the pint full! Thank you Paula for your tremendous inspiration!
I admire you and I thank you!

Toxic Clothing -PVC in Kids Clothing

2007-11-04T14:26:00.001-05:00

I am really really angry. I purchased a coat from Burlington Coat Factory that is made by POLO US assn. (not to be confused with Polo Ralph Lauren). This coat was to be for my 2 year old son. I was distracted in the store (shopping with a two year old and a four year old will do that to you) otherwise I probably would've noticed there was something wrong with the coat sooner. I brought it home and took it out to show my husband. When I took it out of the bag I noticed a funny odor. I looked carefully at what it was made of. The very first thing listed was Poly Vinyl Chloride 80%-that is 80% PVC. Not only can't I believe I purchased a coat that can cause cancer. I can't believe that Burlington would actually sell such a product. I have emailed them and am awaiting a response.

Monday I plan on returning the coat and telling them that they should return all the coats back to the manufacturer. I am also writing a letter to the company and informing them about their poor choice in use of materials for clothing. I am absolutely shocked that they would use this material in their clothing. I posted the links to the store and us polo assn. in case anyone else is interested in contacting them to let them know this is not an appropriate material for clothing. When I googled us polo assn I found out sears,among other stores sell their product. I am surprised that these companies would market toxic clothing to our children and our families.

Two Milestones- One Weekend

2007-11-04T13:49:00.000-05:00

We did it, we have given up the sippy cup. I am really impressed with the kids. They did a terrific job. Tonight we celebrate by going to Mt. Fuji my older son has been requesting a trip there for about a month. I finally got smart and said "if you really want to go, give up the sippy and we will". He and his younger brother threw them in the garbage on Friday, and we made it through the weekend just fine.

That is milestone number one. Milestone number two was getting a babysitter. My husband and I finally after 4 years went out to hear live music together (without the kids). We got a babysitter I could trust, and went out-excited like two people on their second or third date in love together. We were giddy! We saw Phil Lesh and Friends play at the Nokia theatre in NYC. What fun. Too bad we didn't get there earlier. It would've been nice to walk around NYC a bit - but it was fun hearing good music and dancing just the two of us in a sea of of people.

Wish Us Luck

2007-11-02T16:13:00.000-04:00

My kids just chucked their sippy cups into the garbage with the promise of going to the Japanese restaurant on top of the hill near our home.

What is going to happen at 3 am when one of the wakes up wet, needs a change and of course a sippy of milk to go back to bed?

What is going to happen at 5:30am when the 2 year old wakes up and wants to play and we trick him back to bed with a sippy?

Will my husband run out to CVS cursing and screaming at 2 am???? No we will stand firm, and once again be at the short end of the sleep stick.

I am Emily X

2007-10-27T13:54:00.000-04:00

Visit I am Emily X. Here you can listen to the

"True Life Diary of A frontline Planned Parenthood worker and activist"

Read the comments too, and if you feel so inclined show your support by making a donation!

Here are the true stories of folks who help to make birth control and women's health care, safe,legal and affordable.

arg, attack of the sinusitis

2007-10-26T19:05:00.001-04:00

So I started exercising last week, and what do I get for my efforts?

A sinus infection and the worst asthma attack since prior to my pregnancies.

I went from taking evening primrose oil as my only daily pill-to levaquin, abluterol, advair, nasonex, allegra, and tylenol. I must be a message? Exercising is bad for you????? Why oh why did I feel so good afterwards, I felt perhaps muscles re-emerging from a under the saggy baggy mamma body....I won't give up I won't!

Toxic Toys Part 2

2007-10-19T09:40:00.000-04:00

This has been cross-posted on Blogher.

Click here for Responsible Shopper Guide

I was reading the local community paper today, and I was surprised to see an article on toxic toys called "Poison Me Elmo" by Leslie Garret. (Click here to listen to Leslie speak at Chemical Free Radio Show) The article centered around four chemicals found in toys that are not regulated, but are known toxins. PVC, Phthalates, and Bisphenol A and PBDEs. All four of these are known to be harmful.

The CDC issued a report stating that more studies need to be done to discover the long term effects of Phthalates on the human body. This was in Jan. of 07. Some research, according to the article in my paper links this chemical to cancer, reproductive disorders and early onset of puberty in girls. This chemical is found in anything used to soften plastics.

PVC is a well known toxin, and I was surprised to find that it is also in everything. PVC free is a great resource for learning more about this toxic chemical found not only in toys but in clothing also. They write:

"You can help build consumer demand for safer, healthier products by avoiding the purchase of PVC. One way to be sure if the packaging of a product is made from PVC is to look for the number “3” inside or the letter “V” underneath the universal recycling symbol. In addition, soft flexible plastic products that are made with PVC often have a distinct odor, such as vinyl shower curtains. If you suspect that a product is made of PVC, contact the product manufacturer and ask them directly about the materials used in the product or packaging and your concerns about PVC."

The Green Guide has this to say about Bisphenol A

"Depending on whom you talk to, BPA is either perfectly safe or a dangerous health risk. The plastics industry says it is harmless, but a growing number of scientists are concluding, from some animal tests, that exposure to BPA in the womb raises the risk of certain cancers, hampers fertility and could contribute to childhood behavioral problems such as hyperactivity."

Washington State Dept. of ecology has a whole Q&A link to concerns regarding PBDEs

The scientific online journal Environmental Science & Technology have also written about the ongoing longterm effect this chemical will have on the environment.

US PIRG On toy safety has a email alert regarding toxic toys.

At the end of the article in my paper they listed toy companies that are considered "SAFE" Plan toys, Haba, Brio, Chicco, Discovery Toys and Lego. They a also suggest, being more careful with toy purchases. I googled going green toys and found these links to be helpful
Hazelnut Kids they sell natural and organic toys. I would be interested in seeing more sites like this that sell healthier, safer toys. But in the long run I think I am just angry, that these chemicals are in the environment and in our childrens toys. I am planning on researching more, and spending more energy looking into ways to clean up our house and make the effort to "Go Green" a little bit more every day.

Blog Action Day

2007-10-15T08:13:00.001-04:00

Blog Action Day

I have been giving this a lot of thought. I know in my own heart that in my household we are not doing enough to help the environment. Yes we recycle, but not everything all the time. Yes we use biodegradable soap, but not dish detergent or washing machine detergent. Yes I try to wash out plastic bags of the ziplock variety and reuse them, but not always. We go through a ton of diapers, and a ton of pullups. All those are doing what now? Sitting in a dump somewhere slowly rotting away. I don't even know, which is also sad.

For the future I plan on purchasing a mulcher for all of our leaves so they don't go to the dump. (We have a lot of leaves here!) I also want to sign up to get a composter and actually put the effort in to composting. Other plans are to buy items with less packaging. (Drug companies are hugely at fault here. Pre-natal vitamin samples alone could fill up a landfill in over packaging.) I also hope that companies like 7th generation who make excellent products would consider refilling bottles of their products. This would be a great way to reuse our resources. Also I think all of our employers could use a little help with paper recycling and wastefulness!

I would also like to congratulate Al Gore for his Nobel Peace Prize and the scientists he shares the prize with. What they have done is simply amazing. I hope with their prize the effort to fight global warming will grow not only on a local level, but nationally as well.

Mamma! Did you take my kodachrome away?

2007-10-13T20:45:00.000-04:00

So this is how busy I have been. I went to my kodak page to order photos because there is a great deal on 120 photos for $15 (and 10 cents thereafter) I realized I hadn't uploaded any pictures in a long time, but apparently it has been an entire photo free year. I had over 600 pictures to upload from 10/06- 10/07. And I still had to get the red eye out!

Money is a great motivator. I have until 10/15 to finish the job.

UPDATE: I certainly did not save any money-I don't know where I got the extra savings at 10 cents that was NOT true....oh well at least I have a years worth of photos!

I'll Get UP and FLY AWAY

2007-10-11T19:11:00.000-04:00

I accidentally heard Wharf Rat while cooking dinner Tuesday night. Now I can't stop thinking about it. The verse

I'll get up and fly way

is so utterly moving to me. It is unbelievable. I don't think that while I was actually listening to the Dead was I so moved by this song. Anyway enjoy here are two versions from you tube. Enjoy! They should've song the fly away part more. I swear I think I heard them do a version where they sang it like five times.....

1978
more current

blah blah blaaaagh

2007-10-08T23:13:00.000-04:00

aaaaaaah! it is already Oct. 8th and I haven't posted for the month of October! I hope I don't forget Blog Action Day and forget to post on 10/15

Reading Is Fundamental(LY IMPOSSIBLE)

2007-09-30T16:38:00.000-04:00

What is with all the "I am reading this now" ads on other blogs? Who has time to read anymore? I tried to get a book out of the library and unfortunately had only enough time to pick out a 14day only book before my four year old dropped his lollipop on the floor (sold at the library-go figure). He dropped to the flour and started screaming b.c. I refused to get another one - we were basically thrown out....I won't finish the book in 14 days, I'll be lucky if I can find all 14 of the kids books to return before their due date...

Today I went to Borders to get someone a gift. I spent an hr. in the kids section only to have meltdown #2 occur at the new paperbacks table (my fault he hadn't napped or eaten lunch yet). We paid for the gift and split, me sans book for myself-S'okay I couldn't afford one anyway.

At least I got to read the paper today. My son napped in the car and I read some articles-yippee I won't be illiterate forever!

Financial Rollercoaster Race

2007-09-29T14:23:00.000-04:00

You know, when I first started this blog I thought it would be an amazing creative outlet for me. I thought perhaps I would actually write more, be humorous and that I would gather an interesting collective of people who liked what I wrote. Instead, it has turned into a sporadic posting site. I can't even look at other peoples blogs and comment.

My life is that crazy. I don't work out, I don't write. All I do is work, take care of the kids and sleep. I am not really sure how other people are managing this? I have written about this before, but I haven' t really come to any great understanding as to how I am supposed to cope with it. I feel I am open to change and I am asking myself and the universe to allow for change in a positive way. Still I feel stuck. I feel upside down. I feel not myself. I feel like a parent caught in a financial roller coaster race that I am destined to fall out of again and again. How do I keep my act together under these situations? I don't know how to save more money, I don't know how to make more money and I am not sure if that is even the answer. Really, I want to work three days a week and spend more time with my kids. I love them so much and I hate how my day is so rushed with them. I feel like we have to just move move move all the time during the week. By the weekend we are trying to catch up with laundry, cleaning, cooking, sleep and grocery shopping. Where is the time for fun? We do work really hard at having fun on both sat. and sun. but it takes its toll on my husband and I.

I miss my friends, I miss having energy, I miss feeling well slept, I miss a lot. But I wonder who are these women who have the time to blog? Do they work? Do they have nannies? How are the rest of the populations surviving that are in a situation like mine?

I really wish that I could change the life we live write now, to have more time for family and friends. I need to spend less time worrying about work and money!

weekend o' fun

2007-09-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Favorite part of today:
getting into the canoe with the kids (for the very first time!)

funniest part of the day:
watching my 2 year old imitate his older brothers transformaton half nekkid around the back yard.

scariest part of the day:
me screaming at the kids because they never napped and I needed to count to ten or have a beer.....

most fabulous part of the day:
hearing my four year old play the piano and make up songs as he went a long.

other most fab part of the day:
getting to snuggle with my husband while the kids watched Sun. morning cartoons! (this has been something we have been waiting for!

BESTEST part of the weekend (in two parts):
Seeing my best friend after almost a year of not getting to see her! Plus, finally getting to meet (and like) the man who got my best friend prego! (she looks fabulous!)

I miss her already!!!!

and I don't even have a pic.

Abstinence Only???? You've got to be kidding!

2007-09-23T17:55:00.000-04:00

Yeah NY at least we do some things right! I read about this in Our Bodies Our Blog:

New York Just Says No: Kudos to New York for joining at least 10 other reality-based states that have just said no to federal grants for abstinence-only sex education. The decision was announced Thursday by the state health commissioner, Dr. Richard F. Daines, reports The New York Times.

You've got to read the quote below, it is so right on!

In a statement posted on the Health Department’s Web site, Dr. Daines said, "The Bush administration's abstinence-only program is an example of a failed national health care policy directive." He added that the policy was "based on ideology rather than on sound scientific-based evidence that must be the cornerstone of good public health care policy."

The state had also spent $2.6 million annually to fund the same programs over the last decade. That money will now be spent on other existing programs for sex education, Dr. Daines said in an interview.

Working in the health care field I know that talking about abstinence is important, but it absolutely cannot be the only form of birth control we discuss. It just blows my mind that we have let President Bush get away with this ridiculous view on sexual health.

She bitches better

2007-09-15T22:47:00.001-04:00

There is no way I could've said this better than Bitch Ph.D. does. Please read her blog piece on toys made in China that she posted on 9/12.

Bitch Ph.D. writes:

"It's fucking shameful that we're willing to exploit and poison Chinese kids so that our own kids can have Ikea bins filled with plastic doodads and hundreds of felt tip markers and multiple sets of educational magnetic toys. And it's shameful that this is the kind of thing I don't want to talk to Pseudonymous Kid about, because I don't want him to feel guilty about his room full of toys made by slaves."

I couldn't agree more.

Toxic Toys

2007-09-08T12:15:00.000-04:00

Read more at WebMD regarding the latest toy recall. I find the whole situation totally frustrating. Killer Spinach from E.coli, and now toxic toyz from China. What is happening here?????

More Toxic Toys

2007-08-30T23:20:00.001-04:00

Today, my mom ran into Toys R Us while I sat in the car with the boys. It is birthday time here in our household and my mom wanted to get the kids some toys. I was sitting there, (getting the kids to laugh by pretending to sleep and then snorting) all the while thinking, what the hell am I doing here? (I hate toys r us it is a megaplex of hell.)

I really really wanted to stand by my pledge of no more plastic crap in the house. It is environmentally horrible, and it can be painted with lead if it is made in China. I really really really wish there was a toy store in our town, a local place to shop with quality toys. I don't want my kids to be media whores, so buying fun stuff that doesn't look like a super hero/disney character shouldn't be that hard. You know, a fun toy store filled with cool stuff, not mega crap- Anyway now there is a new recall on a art set sold at toys r us. The ink on the wood packaging has lead in it. I guess we are getting what we pay for aren't we?

So I am going back to my pledge, no more toxic toys, and I am seriously thinking it would be so much fun to open my own toy store. Anyone want to invest? I want it to be like the toy store in Hoboken - Big Fun A great store for the kid in all of us.

SIGN THE DAMN PETITION!

2007-08-29T23:11:00.001-04:00

Why the hell isn't anyone signing the petition from MS magazine on the left side of my screen? Are you all blind????? Don't you believe in a women's health??? Goddamn is the is country going backwards or what?! We all need health care, sign the damn petition already!

Bye Bye toxic toys

2007-08-15T22:51:00.000-04:00

I am all for boycotting toys made in china these days. I have to go through the toys and start tossing stuff out. Lately the baby is putting everything in his mouth (including small Mattel made in china race cars). It is hard keeping the big brother toys out of his little brothers hands.......I just checked out the website from mattel, our elmo/cookie monster giggle doodle is in recall. I don't know when we purchased it , but it is getting dumped. My baby loved playing with that.
Miguelina posts about it here in her blog. (aka "the diary of a reluctant housewife") She goes on to write that she will having a China free Christmas. I want a China free Birthday/holiday for good. I am sick of worrying about lead paint in my home. It is ridiculous. On top of that I think purchasing small bits of small plastic crap for my kids is ridiculous, unsafe and not good for the environment. I am certainly going to be searching for toys made in america, (or going to ikea to see what they have.)

Wish me luck

2007-08-12T14:03:00.000-04:00

After approximately four years of not riding my bike I got on last week and went for a quick ride to see how I would do. It was great! Today I got on and rode 10 miles! I am really proud of myself for being able to do the ride.
First of all it is a hot day here.
Secondly four years and two kids later I am totally fat and out of shape.

This was a great experience for me. I needed to to do this. Lately I have felt my stamina dissolve. I have even felt short of breath while walking-totally frustrating. This depresses me to no end. I had to get on the bike and I did! Oh yea the path I chose was a very hilly road, mostly uphill the entire way. It was worth the quick ride down, I felt like I was flying.

In an effort to feel better about my aging almost forty, saggy baggy momma body I will try to continue on my path of self preservation, and fitness. I am hopeful that I can continue on this path with the support of friends and family, plus others doing the same thing.

Wish me luck!

We Are Back

2007-08-07T22:05:00.000-04:00

Dewey Beach Delaware-greatest vacation EVER.

We had a fabulous time. It is nice to be home, but I think 2 weeks away would've been better. Today was my first day back at work, and I have to say-I wished I was at the beach! Sunburn, swimming, dolphins, sand castles, ice cream, moon rises and sunsets. Count amongst it all shooting stars, Dogfish Head beer, showering outside, getting my sons to love the ocean as much as I do, being with family-what could be better? Oh I guess moving there. Wish we could do that too! I really really think that Dewey Beach is a fabulous vacation for families. Everything is within walking distance. Rehoboth is only 2 miles away-with boardwalk fun including a great "funland" where it is easy for little kids to win prizes. Also if you really like cheesey fun Ocean City Maryland is only 20 min. away. A little bit further down the road is Assateague Island where they wild ponies roam the island, including the beach, parking lots and marsh (be careful where you put down your towel or foot if you know what I mean....)

Good eats and a great beach, what more could you want?

Yea, It's Vacation Time

2007-07-27T21:40:00.000-04:00

It is 9:30 pm my 4 year old is still awake, I haven't finished packing yet and neither has my husband. But who cares because tomorrow we are going away!!!!!!

VACATION IS ALL I EVER WANTED, VACATION IS ALL I EVER DREAM ABOUT!!!

See you all soon!

Get Your Head Out of The Sand NYS Senate

2007-07-20T09:56:00.000-04:00

Healthy Teens Act Video for NYS on You Tube

Asthma in Children

2007-07-16T09:28:00.000-04:00

Sooooo we've been dealing with asthma here. My older son recently developed asthma, I guess starting in Jan. This has been his third episode and pretty scary. The MD is ready to put him on twice daily pulmicort, the NP wasn't ready and I am not ready for this either. I think I will try to figure out something else.

First, I will set his room up to be as dust free as possible (my husband did this over the weekend, cleaning room, and buying dust mite covers for everything.)
Second we need to buy him a bed, his old one broke and now his mattress is on the floor.
Third, as soon as I hear a cough I will start him up with pulmicort and xopenex.

If this plan doesn't work, then I will have to do twice daily nebulizer treatments of pulmicort. This will be almost impossible as I have to bribe him just to do the ones were are doing now. At one point he was so tired and lethargic he didn't argue and I was giving him treatments almost every two hours. since they weren't working I brought him to the pediatricians office. They were really worried about him, but after a dose of prednisone and increasing the xopenex and pulmicort he did much better. The only problem there was how he reacted to the prednisone. I had to ask them to decrease that dose because it made him nuts along with the double dose of xopenex. He as like a monster. Once everthing was back to normal and I decreased his meds, his reactions were better.
I wonder if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share their suggestions with me? I haven't had a chance to do much research on the net, and will try to look for links to post here.

I liked the Amercan Lung Association's site on childhood asthma. Now I need some good blog sites.

PMS perspective

2007-07-12T22:42:00.000-04:00

I view PMS as the rose colored glasses being removed with a reality slap across my cheek. A monthly wake up call to wake up and take inventory of everything that is fucked up and needs to be fixed in my life. Afterwards I go back to my slackadaisical ways....

I came across a blog called lala land posting about PMS. I tried to leave a comment, but for some reason it would not post. I just can't resist losing my comment, b.c. I thought it was funny and true.

Help! I need to escape

2007-07-10T19:49:00.000-04:00

New Kind of Kick
TURN IT UP and Enjoy!
All I wanted to find was a video of the Cramps performing my new fav. song New Kind of Kick. Because the lyrics say it all:

Life is short
Filled With stuff
Dont know what for
I ain't had enough I learned all I know by the age of nine
But I can better myself if I could only find
Some new kind of kick
Something I ain't had before
Somenew kind of buzz
I want go hog mad
I'm lookin and lookin and lookin for
Somehting I ain't had before
I'm lookin and lookin and lookin and lookin to find
Some new kind of kick
Some new kind of kick
Gimme a kick
I wanna kick
Like baby needs mom
Like Suzy needs Dick
This baby needs some new kind of kick.
I want some new kind of kick
I want some new kind of kick
I want some new kind of kick
I want some new kind of kick
Ohhh I'm lookin and lookin and lookin for
Somethin I ain't had before
I'm lookin and lookin and lookin and lookin to find
Whoooooaaaaaa
Life is short
Filled with stuff
Don't know what for
I ain't had enough
I want some new kind of kick
I want some new kind of kick
I want some new kind of kick
I wa wa wa wha wha waaaaoooww
Wooow
Energyne
Barco
Draino hot shot
Whack attack
Helium
Nitrous oxide
Formaldehyde
Some new kind of kick

Wonderful Weekend

2007-07-09T21:34:00.000-04:00

What a fabulous weekend- went to the Jersey Shore for some funnel cake and fun. There is something to be said about the boardwalk on the Shore. When it gets hot you can always go into the ever clean, cool wonderful world of Jenkinsons Aquarium. I swear I think all of Point Pleasant is owned by the Jenkinson family-including th e 20$ per day parking lot (If you don't get there early enough you have to pay the big bucks.) All and all it is a great time. The water is clean, the beach is fun and the kids, well they are still getting used to the sounds and screams of the ocean. The baby likes the lake by us better-less noisy, but he still had fun-at least in the aquarium. We all ate ice cream and funnel cake-too hot for taffy and fudge this time around!

The boardwalk, is great cheesy fun, there is a rides section (also owned by the Jenkinsons ) that we did not go to this time around. It was just too hot. There is also a lot to be said about people watching there. There are some very interesting exposure ratios. - not exactly eye candy, but worth giggling over. I am still getting used to the Shore being a LI girl myself, and I must say, having kids makes you appreciate a fun boardwalk all over again.

Sunday we spent hanging around the Burg. We hung out by a beautiful secluded stream bed. The baby learned to say salamander after I got excited over finding one (but could not catch it). We saw lots of trout, and a crayfish. My older son really loved wading in the cold water and climbing on the rocks. I am really glad we went down there to check it out. The dragonflies were stunning in their electric blues.

Wow I must be mellowing out in the heat, no rants or raves-yet. My political self seems to be taking a summer break! Must be from work, needing a thought break!

Fourth of JULY 2007

2007-07-04T21:53:00.000-04:00

I always feel like if it is a holiday I am supposed to post. But about what? Fireworks?

It is cold and raining here, but people are still setting off fireworks. Luckily the kids are totally pooped and slept right thru it. Before they went to bed we watched a little Godzilla Vs. Mechazilla. Totally hysterical. The baby wouldn't watch he brought me book after book to keep from looking at the screen. My older son loved it, but got so hopped up on all the shooting that I was glad when it was over to calm him down.

Earlier in the day we went to the upper lake and fished. The kids had a blast. It was so cold I had trouble finding worms, (my other title is mommy the worm hunter...) the worms were kind of just stunned, and not wriggling. Each kid caught a fish or two as did I and my husband. They are small so throw them back in. I tried to find frogs, but again it was too cold. Even the turtles were hiding. We did see a hawk fly overhead and my older son found a baby bird hiding in a tree. Its momma was nearby freaking out so we left to give the baby a chance to fly home. Kinda the prologue for the movie! (Baby who is part godzilla and part something else goes back with his mother(?) godzilla who defeated mechazilla...after telepathically being told "it is the only way" by one of the people inside the dead mechazilla. It sounds confusing, but is a lot of fun.

Easy Wind

2007-07-01T21:01:00.000-04:00

To keep up with the theme of funny things out of the mouth of babes-I have heard a choice few lately and am willing to share.

A month ago my almost four year old son was visiting with his Nani and Poppop. While playing in the back yard he asked my husband "who is that" referring to the Virgin Mary statue in their yard. My husband said, "you know Mary, like on my chain" J walked up to the statue to have a closer look pronouncing I'm bigger!" and ran off happily to play. Leaving his Poppop and father laughing hysterically.

The same son loves Pigpen songs by the Grateful Dead. His father has been playing them a lot lately on the CD player and on his guitar. The other day I am sitting in the living room when my son J walks in singing a line out of Easy Wind: "ballin' that jack and drinkin' my wine" I burst out laughing as I could NOT believe what I was hearing. My son just looked at me and said "it's Pigpen mommy!" It would be pretty funny if he starts singing that at school!

Pig Pen singing Easy Wind

The baby (almost 2) is really getting good at his sentence structure. He likes singing his songs and repeating everything his brother says. So, I am sure I will soon have some funny things to write about what he says. Suffice to say they will be happening sooner than later as he noticed I had my period today (godforbid I should go to the bathroom alone-ever). In case any of you are eating I won't repeat what he said.....

Thank God for Laughter

2007-06-30T20:55:00.001-04:00

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I encourage anyone who really needs a laugh to check out the post on One Good Thing. The stories are absolutely pee in your pants hysterical. I have to thank Bitch PhD for sending me there.

working mamma blues part2

2007-06-25T11:29:00.000-04:00

Arg-after a long week end off I am back to work 12-8pm. Tomorrow I have to be out the door before the kids wake up. So that makes 1 1/2 days without seeing them. I am really sad.

Sometimes work just wears you down....but at least we had a fun filled weekend outside. Zoo on Friday with the entire E. Coast kid clan. Sat a day in the park bike riding, stroller walking and kite flying. Sat. afternoon-snapper turtle siting, mud jumping and frog hunting. Sun. relax and bbq!

Monday am-got rid of some toys clutter cleanup always feels good. But I miss my kids (already!) and I wished I got to kiss them goodbye a bit more. It will be see you later, but not for a few days. Makes me think of all the moms who have to kiss their kids goodbye and go to another country to find work. Maybe to not see their children for years. That really makes me cry! I meet these courageous moms every day. If I had the words in Spanish I would ask them is it really worth it? All the sadness missing their children to come here to this crazy country, live in poverty and work so hard? But I guess they have to do it. All I can say to them, is I am so sorry I know how hard this must be for you.

Dana Gioia, Commencement address at Stanford

2007-06-19T20:16:00.002-04:00

I thought that this was a pretty amazing speech given in the name of art. I urge everyone to read and think about what the Poet Dana Gioia has to say.

Dana Gioia, chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts:

(this is part of the whole commencement see link below)

Art is an irreplaceable way of understanding and expressing the world—equal to but distinct from scientific and conceptual methods. Art addresses us in the fullness of our being—simultaneously speaking to our intellect, emotions, intuition, imagination, memory, and physical senses. There are some truths about life that can be expressed only as stories, or songs, or images.

Art delights, instructs, consoles. It educates our emotions. And it remembers. As Robert Frost once said about poetry, "It is a way of remembering that which it would impoverish us to forget." Art awakens, enlarges, refines, and restores our humanity. You don't outgrow art. The same work can mean something different at each stage of your life. A good book changes as you change.

Read the whole speech here
Provided by Jill Dybka at the Poetry Hut

Stanford Report, June 17, 2007

2007-06-19T20:16:00.001-04:00

Drowning in Puke and Poop Version 2.0

2007-06-12T18:58:00.000-04:00

Oh my god, let me say that the virus in its second wave has hit the household. First, Crusher (almost 2 years old) at 4:30 am Monday morning-day of my 11 hour shift. Second, Steamroller(almost 4 years old) hit hard at 10 pm. By that time the baby is awake and bouncing off the walls yelling: "Look puke, puke! Throw up! Puke!" and pointing to all the pukey places on the couch. I hope to upload the video of this to you tube, because damn if my kid isn't hysterical!

The baby stayed home with my husband on Monday. By the time I was getting ready to go to work, he was done puking. After my shift was over I arrived home around 9pm, both kids asleep, plenty of downtime to discuss my anxiety dreams from watching the Sopranos season finale the night before. (I couldn't sleep I kept tossing and turning about Janice...) When all of a sudden, 10pm rolls around and Steamroller gets bit by the bug. At this point I am running on very little sleep and I realize that I will be getting even less sleep now, especially when my son says to me "Mommy, when I need you, I need you" after his third or fourth episode of projectile vomiting.

Let me just say that hearing the big guy puke up bile at 1 am was terrible. He and I slept on the couch together. Anytime he stirred I woke up fast, bucket in hand to catch the B rated monster movie bleck. It was like a horror movie including his moans and gags.

good god! what was this vomit virus creator thinking?
Version 2.0 is mad fast, furious and basically gone in 4 hrs. That is, four hours of vomit. The next day getting the kids to eat anything has been difficult. The baby just wants to drink. Hence the drowning in poop part, or rather....diarrhea that spills OUT OF THE DIAPER...GAG!!!

On this very same day the dryer repair man arrived (gracia a dios!) and fixes our dryer-in time for poop round 2, 3 and 4. I run a load of towels and we all nap (not the dryer guy he left....) I wake up 2 hours later. A nap well appreciated, and go downstairs to check on the towels. And what is that? My olfactory senses are exploding: GAS LEAK! Great. I call the gas company, they arrive and 3 citations later I learn we did indeed have a gas leak from the dryer repair man who messed up the hose. The new repair guy turns off the gas to the dryer so that the leak would be temporarily fixed. We will be lacking a dryer until the next repair person arrives tomorrow to fix the hose. (But at least we still have hot water.)

I am just hoping that tomorrow this doesn't turn out to be a huge problem. So I can finish the wash. I also hope that the kids have some solid poop tomorrow. Because daycare has the 3 strikes your out policy on diarrhea. Please please please let the cheerios work!

A years worth of blogger

2007-06-08T22:26:00.000-04:00

The baby fell asleep singing his favorite night time song. I don't know how to sing it in French, but it is the same song as brother john is sleeping. He was pretty funny singing it. The baby is usually very funny. When he is just about ready to fall asleep, but is fighting it, he will say "poop poop" it took us a while to realize that this was just a ruse. We used to get up and look. Now he says it, we ignore him and he goes right to bed. He also loves to wake up at around five and sing: Nookie nookie nookie, nookie nookie nookie! at the top of his lungs until we get up and get him milk. I guess I can't call him the baby anymore, he will be two soon. I still gotta come up with hip blogger names for them. Oh The Crusher is the baby and Steam Roller is his big brother. I forgot.....this comes from how they wake us up in the morning

Well that is it for tonight, I just realized that I have been writing here for about 1 year now! I can't believe it. A years worth of blogging....crazy. I can't say that I have had time to check out new blogs, I love the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas random blog pick. It is fun, but I haven't seen anything fabulous lately-I guess because I have been too busy to really get a chance to read them. I miss Blogher That was a very informative site, but I found that a lot of the women there link only to their friends, and very rarely will add a new person onto their site. In fact I found it very cliquish in that sense. Which is kind of sad really. I am rambling now, I guess it is time for bed. Oh and I just checked out the True Dad Confessions, I think I will stick to True Mom Confessions It is way more interesting. Plus I don't have to read about shaving balls and blowjobs. One guy did say, another guy would get more bj's if he washed and shaved his balls more often and....hung out at the Y.

That is it for now!

Astronomy Picture of the Day

2007-06-08T22:19:00.001-04:00

Astronomy Picture of the Day is a fun site. I enjoy checking it out and think today's picture is pretty amazing. It looks a lot cooler at their site, because it is larger.

Crawfish Fest 2007

2007-06-04T14:44:00.001-04:00

Another fab year at Crawfish fest. Ok so the last time we went was before the second kid was born, but whatever. We made it to the Sunday afternoon show to see living legend Dr. John. He was amazing! Totally fun and lots of great music-including some from his super voodoo CD Gris Gris-one of my favorite Dr. John cds. He also sang the Leadbelly song Goodnight Irene. The kids had a blast even thought the show ended with us getting rained on-it was all worth it.

thank you Dr. John!

Memorial Day Sadness

2007-05-28T21:44:00.000-04:00

So I went to my first Memorial Day parade since I was in little league or a girl scout whichever came last. I remember marching down Larkfield Road and being so happy-clueless about what I was marching about. Today watching the parade and the older men of Sloatsburg who are vets shoot off blanks from their ancient combat rifles-my husband held the ears of the baby and I cried.

So many people are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan and for what? So many people from such diverse age categories, financial, social and ethnicities. I want to cry for all of them. I thought of Darfur, the Middle East, the people of the former Yugoslavia. And I think all of these wars are fought for what? Religion? Human nature? Money? Oil? What is it that causes us to never evolve enough to stop killing each other? I do not understand it at all. I cried for all the parents today who have lost their children to war. I send them all my love and I pray that one day we will all stop the hatred and stop the violence.
Peace to all

Roberta

Rant and Roll

2007-05-26T16:28:00.000-04:00

What to write about today? I have about 30 min. of free time. I should be outside gardening but the damn mayflies are eating me alive. When the hell do they go away. Bluesman took the kids out to pick up fuel for our party tomorrow and pizza for dinner. I am listening to one of my fav. cds: New Olreans Funk Everything on it is fabulous, I don't think there is one song I don't like all by various artists from NO. Anyway, I really am tired-so I don't know what to post. So I guess I will write about fun kid facts:
The other day my baby looked out the window and said "bluejay! look!" I was totally impressed by the fact that my 20 month old son knew the giant blue bird scarfing down seed was a bluejay.

Today my older son (3 1/2)lied to me....he came upstairs and said "Mommy I finished my lunch are you happy with me?" Of course I said yes, then the two brothers had a potty fest. The big boy on the grown up potty and the baby sitting on the little one. My older son must've inspired the baby because as soon as the baby heard the older one peeing he said "noise momma noise" grabbed his penis and peed away on the little potty. A big fuss was made, we went down to the kitchen and what did I find in the garbage? The older guys lunch. Man was I pissed and broken hearted. The first big lie, said to make me happy. Where am I screwing up? Anyway a "real" punishment was had, not a little lame time out on the steps, but a sit in your bedroom and think about what you did/guilt for making mommy so upset punishment. What happened in the end? "Mommy what does lying mean?" I don't think I got very far....all and all he is a great kid, so it just hurts so much when I have to be all upset with him. I can't stand yelling at him! Plus, my babies are growing up!

Fire Island Lighthouse

2007-05-21T21:37:00.000-04:00

We went to the Fire Island Lighthouse today for my mom. She is moving from LI (where she lived her entire life) to New Olreans in 3 days. The move is huge for her so I figured I would take her back to Fire Island and we would visit the lighthouse which my older son refers to as "Bebahs lighthouse" (Bebah is my mother). It was an important trip because the ocean has always been an important part of my mothers life. She grew up on Long Beach LI and spent most of her summers at the beach. She also used to volunteer at the lighthouse on Fire Island. My son also really wanted to go back and visit and kept asking my mom when she was going to take her. It was a great day. Besides the traffic to and from LI it was really terrific. The sun was out, the sky was blue. Hellicopters and boats and even diggers were part of the trip. My kids enjoyed seeing the lighthouse and walking around it. Hearing the kids on a school trip yelling down at us from the top of the lighthouse "hello people down there" the baby turned and waved to them. We saw lots of birds on the walk including redwing black birds and yellow warblers. The water was cold and the baby freaked out about having sand on his hands and feet. He was also scared of the water. However my oder son had a blast and was running back and forth to the water, collecting shells and digging in the sand. Even the baby eventually got over his fear of the "noise mamma, noise" from the waves crashing and enjoyed a blue shark kite blowing in the breeze. It truly was a nice day with my mom and the kids before she leaves.

My mom had a terrific time-until we got home and had to deal with the medicare fiasco. They aren't paying her MD bills b.c. they screwed up her info. So now she won't go to the Dr. b.c. she is angry that medicare isn't paying her MD bills. It is horrible. So beware sucky government DMV healthcare system. If my mom gets sicker b.c. of your incompetent behavior we will SUE THE PANTS OFF YOU!!!

Other than that, a thousand blessings for a picture perfect day at the beach and all before memorial day weekend!

Bashing Leisure Moms

2007-05-20T16:19:00.000-04:00

Ok I swore I would always stand by other mothers, not bash em etc. But I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand the mother's that won't hold the door open for me and my kids going into the daycare. These aren't the moms who are rushing off to work, they always hold the door open. These are the leisure moms with the huge rocks on their fingers driving ugly yellow hummers dropping their kids off at this overpriced "school" for half day or full day (Yeah, my kids finally got into the cheap YMCA in our neck of the woods so I can blow this crap out of the water soon at least by Sept. when they start...). Anyway back to the leisure moms with their perfect hair and pink or french manicured nails. So freakin' rude rush rush rush to your gym/aerobics class. But when you bump into another mom driving a mercedes stop and talk and schmooze, don't move out of the way for my car sit and hang out in the lot and bullshit while I try to get to work. Gddamn why do these women always have to be blonde and always skinny wearing work out clothing. UGH I CAN'T STAND THEM!!!!

Is this about class, jealousy or rudeness-ugh I cannot stand these women. I wish they would wake up and stop being so freakin' obnoxious. Just hold the door for me. You see I have two children, you see me every day or don't you? Maybe I am invisible to you? That could be-they could be like the cheerleaders in HS who thought everyone who wasn't one of them were invisible. Oh my gd ladies grow the fuck up and take your blinders off!

Life in This Crazy Household

2007-05-19T21:31:00.000-04:00

I am not sure why I haven't written about this yet, perhaps it is because I know my mother sometimes reads my blog....My mom is moving out. Yep she has been living with us for about 4 months now. I knew it was only temporary, and I am really sad that she is leaving, but I also know it is for the best. Our home isn't big enough for her to have her own apt. Plus she has a circulation disorder and this winter was absolutely brutal for her. She is moving down south, to her own apt. in New Olreans to live near my younger sister and her two boys. (By the way NO is the home of the late Ernie K. Doe who sang the lovely song, "Mother-In-Law" which my husband loves to hum under his breath when things got a little nutty here....)

My mom being here has had its ups and downs. She has her "issues" and it is hard for her to sometimes deal with the way we do things here. But it has also been a lot of fun, especially for my boys. They love having her here. My mom has been picking them up from daycare early for me, watching them while they were sick all sorts of fabulous things that have helped us. Besides doing occasional cooking, lots of laundry and food shopping. So the question is, what am I going to do now that she is leaving? I survived the first four months of a new job only because my mother was here to help with the kids when they were sick. Now what will happend? Will we totally fall apart here? I hope not. I guess it will go back to the scramble it was before this beautiful reprieve in our lives.

So after next week, we shall see-what will life be like in this crazy household

Bye Bye Wolfie!

2007-05-17T19:28:00.000-04:00

Say goodbye to Wolfowitz, who will be next? Not Bush, not Cheney Will it be AG Alberto Gonzales? (weird I never heard of China View before as a news agency, but when you do a google search on AG that is the first link to pop up.)

I can't wait to say goodbye Bush! I can't wait to say hello....to whomever the next president will be and please a little help here folks, lets make sure it is the person we vote for, not an impostor with a war agenda-we already screwed up with that one.

By the way, I sure wish one of my boyfriends had helped me get such a great job, with excellent pay. Can't say he doesn't know how to look out for his girlfriends.

Riza worked for the bank before Wolfowitz took over as president in June 2005. She was moved to the State Department to avoid a conflict of interest but stayed on the bank's payroll. Her salary went from close to $133,000 to $180,000. With subsequent raises, it eventually rose to $193,590. The panel concluded that the salary increase Riza received "at Mr. Wolfowitz's direction was in excess of the range" allowed under bank rules.

Over all he is a catch and may do well on Match up if his girlfriend didn't break up with him already. Oh I know - I am being mean and petty, so sorry...I figured at least I am being political. I guess that is why I stay away from bashing celebs. They have too much publicity as it is. The politicians are in need of some interest.

Happy Mother-Fuckin' Mothers Day!

2007-05-12T21:05:00.000-04:00

Go eat a raspberry fucking scone or something. I'll be planting flowers and eating dark chocolate till I puke.

Bear Poop and Bird watching Spring Fun!

2007-05-06T19:49:00.000-04:00

A couple of funny things happened this past week involving the bird feeder, bear poop and a red breasted grosbeak. Click here for sound.
First my eldest son was having a fit about something and I refused to give in. He went from the kitchen into the living room crying. One minute later there was silence. I was so happy I ate my dinner and almost didn't notice. The next thing I hear him yelling for my mom to "come quick". She walks into the living room and gets real excited, and yells for me to come in also. I am like "great it is probably another freaking cardinal, I will act excited...."My son loves seeing the male and female cardinals at the bird feeder. After awhile it gets tiresome. I mean I love the birds and all, but ok I can be a grump...Anyway, I get there and he is jumping up and down with excitement. "Mommy mommy a new bird, I think it is in your bird book!!!" I look up and sure enough it is a new bird. I go to the bird ID pages for red, black and white and what do we see? Not one but three red breasted grosbeaks, all males. The female showed up about 15 minutes later. At this point I am feeling like a jerk for even considering not looking at something a 3 1/2 year old is excited about. At the same time I am like beaming with pride. My kid is observant, and excited about watching for birds. I am so lucky. Who cares if he screams like a wild wombat when I don't let him get everything he wants, that is normal...I am thrilled he is the way he is!

Funny thing #2

So a bear was snooping around our house. Day one the neighbors saw him and took a picture of him by my car at 6 am. Day 2 our bird feeders were knocked to the ground, and puncture marks were found in one of them. Both feeders were opened and dumped out. Our feeders are squirrel proof on some sort of a baffle thing. I knew it wasn't a squirrel-could it have been a bear. Later in the week my husband and I took the kids down to the green. What was down there? No not a bear, but we almost stepped into some ginormous poop. I mean huge and it was riddled with seed, bird seed. I am guessing it was from the bear!

Sanity in the year 2007-does it really exist?

2007-05-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

I don't really get to post much anymore. I am working too much. I am trying desperately to exercise also. I can't seem to do much of that. I am a health care professional, part of my job is to tell patients that it is really important to eat healthy and find time to exercise. I can't even do that, what the hell gives me the right to say this, when I can't even figure out how to get that agenda across to myself!?

The thing that kills me is that I work for an organization that is dedicated to helping the lives of women. You would think that as an organization they would really encourage a realistic working environment for their staff. I mean 15 min lunch breaks (my fault really I hate making patients wait the typical 2hr. wait...), but if I could get a proper lunch break (which they don't even pay for) I could maybe go to a gym....and be healthy and be able to give out good advice and own up to it myself. I found out from someone at work that if you work for Benjamin Moore Corp Headquarters-they actually buy the staff a lunch everyday. Isn't that nice?

Please don't tell me to work out later or earlier, it just won't happen in my household I have tried. I need a lunch/gym break. I need an nanny, a wife, and a secretary. I need a more sane life!I need a million dollars! I need to shut up and stop ranting like a crazy person and bend over like the good worker bee I am and just keep on workin'.

Blogger Beta Blows So Badly!

2007-05-05T22:33:00.000-04:00

Man, I am so sick of fuckin' blogger-it blows! I really like wordpress better for posting and creating my site. Though they don't seem to have the flexibility that blogger offers in creating the look of a site.

However right now, I can't even add a page element properly b.c. the Blogger blows so badly! Sometimes add a page element shows up, sometimes it doesn't. Every once in awhile I go back and still can't move a page element up or down like I am supposed to be able to do.
"Add and Arrange Page Elements Click and drag to rearrange page elements on your blog."

It is so very frustrating. Blogging is getting frustrating. I don't want to give up my site, I really like it, I mean it is purple! What is a blogger to do?

backpacking yosemite 1995

2007-04-29T17:21:00.000-04:00

Supreme Mistake

2007-04-22T20:31:00.000-04:00

Women's health breakdown.
This country is going in the wrong direction. The Supreme Court has made a horrible decision and I know women's health is at stake. To take away the right to abort a fetus is a terrible decision, this is just another stepping stone in the Bush/anti-choice agenda. I feel however they made a decision that is so wrong and so based upon ridiculous assumptions. Did anyone ever really look into why women make this choice? It is for health reasons and that is it. I am very sad and very worried about the future of women's health care.

Planned Parenthood Federation Posts links to PPFAs comments on the supreme court. Scroll down on Our Bodies Our Blog
To see a list of summaries under another link. Here is what the Supreme Court has to say go to docket 05-380 Gonzales v. Carhart.

A dreamer I will always be

2007-04-15T16:03:00.000-04:00

Ok, so nobody cares about uniting workers on this site. Perhaps I am a dreamer of revolution only. I dunno. In my spare time (?) I will write at my other new site about revolution. Here I will simply be a mom struggling in time to create an open site to be creative and share my thoughts with the world. My alter ego the revolutionary can be found at this link perhaps if you are inspired to dream big and have thoughts of a working class/middle class revolt you will join me and my fire inspired rants. In this alternative universe I am a great orator, and inspire people- a dreamer I will always be....

Here I will write about My oldest son who told me yesterday "When I grow up and become a man I will be able to reach the lollipops." (we put them up on the highest kitchen shelf where he and his brother cannot reach) Hi baby brother this morning said the word "pumpernickle" I was impressed, not because it is his favorite bagel, but because he is only 18 months and that is a lot of syllables for one little mouth.

One of my favorite sitings this weekend is my husband going out to feed the birds. The kids get really psyched to see him because he pretends he is a bird too after he fills up the feeder. It is absolutely hysterical to see him flap his "wings" and pretend to hit the window. He gives the window a slap makes a cartoon face and "flies" away, much to the utter happiness of my two boys.

Yesterday we went to the museum of natural history in NYC and had a fabulous time there and walking around central park. I was a great day, making up for the in house rain day we are having today. Tomorrow it is off again to work 11 hours of wage slavery....

Workers UNITE!

2007-04-08T18:50:00.000-04:00

Working Moms National "Sick Out Day" If we all call out sick maybe politicians will take note. WE moms are a force to be reckoned with, not to be ignored! We are the have a powerful voice and if we use our force to show how we impact the economy I know our voices will be heard!!!

REVOLUTION OF THE MIDDLE CLASS

2007-04-08T18:29:00.000-04:00

I am thinking about revolution. A revolution of the middle class. Specifically, moms rising up to fight the system. Corporate America and all that she sucks out of us. I am a tired mom, a full time working mom and I am pissed off! OBAMA, HILLARY you better take note! I am not the only angry parent out here in the blogosphere. I think we have ourselves a potential for some major grassroots change. Listen up politicians! We moms will not be taken for granted any longer!!!

I think the system has got to change! I think we need to force change if it will not happen alone. I wasn't a STPEC major at UMASS for nothing, something better put that degree to work!

What is going on in this country?? Why do we have to work like dogs to make ends meet? To pay a mortgage? To send kids to daycare/school? to pay bills? I never see my family.

I don't read, I don't exercise, all I do is work, get home give the kids a bath and go to bed! And I am NOT supposed to complain, because at least I am not living in a one bedroom apt. with three other families? BULLSHIT I will voice my opinion. People living like that and like me deserve some respect! We deserve to have a better life! By better I do not mean more "things" by better I mean TIME TO SPEND WITH MY FAMILY!!!! We claim to be a pro-family nation, but we can't even have a system that supports family. All we do is make people work harder to pay more bills.

I want a life, a creative, beautiful life where I am not too tired to be the best mom I can be. Write in your support, lets whip up the establishment! The Revolution will not be televised-It will be blogged!!!

Bird Feeder Fun

2007-03-31T21:02:00.000-04:00

I lost the funniest post I never got to write. It was all in my head written a couple of nights ago as I lay awake between snoring children. Somewhere between 2-4am. I couldn't get up, I couldn't sleep. Whatever it was, it made me laugh out loud. Now it is gone and I've got nothing. UGH!!!

The other day my older son came running into the kitchen. I was trying to get ready before work, and really needed a sip of coffee. "Mommy come quick, come quick" he yelled waving his hand for me to come. I was like in my head going what now....i am so tired what does he want.... "Do you want to see something beautiful?" His face lit up with excitement. I went with him to look out the window. There at the birdfeeder was something beautiful a bright red cardinal. "A cardinal mommy a cardinal isn't he beautiful?" "Yes, he his sweety" and so are you I thought to myself and so are you!

My kids and I love looking out our window using Stokes Beginners Guide to Birds to ID birds it is a blast. We have a finch feeder and a regular feeder up. It is amazing how fast the baby is learning to say bird names.

MSG In your Soup

2007-03-25T13:33:00.000-04:00

So all you soup consumers out there, who in a pinch can only find progresso and campbells soup in CVS I urge you to write a comment to their site regarding the use of MSG in their products. Even Progresso in the low sodium version of their soup had MSG in it (Monosodium Glutamate).

While looking into the whole MSG thing I discovered a bunch of sites listed below who are not into MSG. My primary reason for writing this piece was initially b.c. I think MSG also has extra sodium in it. Why would it be in low sodium soup, why should it be in any soup geared towards children? Again I guess that is why I am making my own pot of soup for the kids today, but I don't always have this luxury. I do know that if Campbells and Progresso don't change their ingredients to support a healthier attitude then I believe in the long run their sales will go down. So why not write and tell them this. Don't buy the product if they refuse to be healthy. Here are their contact sites:
campbells soup
progresso soup
Oh and why not tell your local CVS or grocery store to buy healthier soups such as
health valley or any others of your choosing. Feel free to comment regarding soups of your choice.

Wikepedia on MSG
sites that agree MSG is bad
MSGTruth.org
Truth in labeling
MSG MYTH

FDA Fact sheet
FDA

Literacy in America

2007-03-23T19:15:00.001-04:00

So, I have been working with low income population of patients for almost as long as I have been a nurse and Nurse Practitioner. I took a temporary leave for 5 years after being exhausted/burnt out of clinic work. (I used to come home everyday crying or so tired my husband would just help me into bed to sleep.)

Now that I am back in a clinic like environment I could not be happier. The diversity of the patient pop. has been helpful. One thing however totally saddens me, literacy. I don't get annoyed with people who can't speak a lick of English after living here for 1,2 3, -12 years. That doesn't bother me. They are able to at least read and write in their own language. What makes me sad is that in the year 2007 people don't know how to read or write. Some of the women I come in contact with do not know how to read at all, in the language that is the primary language from their country of origin.

I had a patient the other day who had to take a crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket and look down at it to slowly write down her name. Oddly enough there were two names on the paper and if she got confused she would write down the wrong one. She barely knew how to draw the letters, let alone know which one was her name to copy. I wanted to cry. This is part of the public health crisis. I think people need to know how to read and write. Granted, many of these women come from a country in Latin America where they don't learn Spanish. They speak a native dialect that is nothing like Spanish and don't have the resources that Spanish speaking only people have. I hope that in the work I do I can figure out a way to give these people the opportunity to learn to read an write so that their children will have a better chance at making it in this country. I can only imagine how hard it is to live here.

Spring is Coming

2007-03-14T13:11:00.000-04:00

I saw the most amazing sight today while driving my kids to school and going to work: large flocks of birds flying north. I saw them high up in the sky in the distance, large V like units flying so brilliantly against the morning sky. It lifted my spirits. I wanted to cry! To see something so beautiful and the beginning of the return of spring, to actually witness the return! What a sight. I love spring!

Why I HATE CABLEVISION AND TACO BELL

2007-03-12T16:05:00.000-04:00

Cablevision blows! We get our online service through cablevision and it has been out since Friday

We waited all day for them to come on saturday-ok I didn't wait I was at work- and they never showed. My husband decided to find out why and they said, oh we noticed there were outages in your area so we didn't come....fuckin' brilliant logic. They finally arrive today and HOPEFULLY I will be able to access the internet again. I can't post, can't read my email, I couldn't even post to Poetry Thursday.....I am sooooo frustrated.

On another note, nobody seems to understand the concept of the family bed-I wish I could write about it today, but I ate some taco bell for lunch and I just can't handle the stomach pains. I think I have to take another bathroom break. Taco bell you need to work on your sanitary conditions and what kind of crazy health care provider eats at taco bell anyway!!!!! Oh one that doesn't get a lunch break and who is starving and needs to ask a co-worker to get food. Man don't eat at taco bell. Ok this is a rant and rave post-so sorry. Maybe I will be back tonight with a happy family bed post!

Vermonter Vote: Impeach Bush

2007-03-06T20:53:00.000-05:00

Vermont is totally radical! I want to move there-oh but its too cold for too long. Check out the above link on VT and the voters in that totally rad state.

Lunar eclipse lost

2007-03-03T19:26:00.000-05:00

we went to look for the moon
only it wasn't there
I dragged the kids out into the car
my mom stuck between to car seats
even my husband came out
and we drove into harriman
to look for the moon

only we couldn't find it
the moon was missing.

we went looking,
for a total eclipse
and found not the moon
but sleeping children who didn't see
a sunset
over snow, ice lakes and black
silhouetted trees
Aug 28 we will look again

weaning wisdom

2007-02-25T13:28:00.000-05:00

It is almost done. I am at day 2, tomorrow is day 3. We know kids are good after three's so I am hoping that after tomorrow the weaning process will be finished! I decided to stop after I came home from work the other day. My son was screaming his head off for "boob boob" the minute I walked in the door with him. I sat him down, tried to feed him and he would not eat. He kept slamming his hand into my breast screaming over and over: "boob boob maamaa boob boob". I let him latch on. He looked up at me with love in his eyes. 15 minutes later he shifted and nearly took my nipple off. I could feel the pain shooting down into my breast. The night before he had ruined my right nipple so the left was all I was offering. I popped him off and said "we are done". He cried, I gave him a bottle and have been giving him one ever since. Whenever he asks I say "boob boob ouch" He is also transitioning into the toddler room at daycare. So I tell him "you are a big boy now, big boys drink from cups". It all seems to be working.

Every night when he wakes up I give him a bottle, no more breast. I just can't take it anymore. Bleeding cracked itchy dry tits are horrible. Engorgement is nothing compared to those other irritations! I am done!!! one more day and I am done!!! My breasts will be mine again. Oh if if my husband gets lucky, maybe I let him touch them again too!

100th post!!!!

2007-02-22T12:49:00.000-05:00

This is my second time trying to post this without losing info!

This is my 100th post. How fitting that I write about something that is near and dear to my heart: Women's Reproductive Freedom.

I read a great article on abortion from Time Magazine. It is called The Grassroots Abortion War. By Nancy Gibbs. The article makes it clear that our president supports fake health care agencies giving out incorrect information about abortions. (Such as abortions cause breast cancer!) These agencies will perform sonograms and use psychological manipulation to help patients decide to continue their pregnancies even after the patient thinks they are going to an abortion provider. I find this manipulative, and disturbing. Especially since they claim to be medical and give out false medical information. I urge all of you to read the article and call an agency in your town. See what type of misinformation they are giving out and write about it on your blog.

Brenda Wilson on NPR morning edition produced a great piece on the HPV vaccine. I only hear half of it. I think anybody with young daughters should listen to this piece to be more informed about this vaccine.

bloggin' blues

2007-02-21T13:21:00.000-05:00

Holy crap my life is busy! upside down busy like crazy maniac momma that I am. I worked an 11 hr shift on monday. I worked last sat. I have to work this sat. I wonder when will I see my kids again. For some reason they put me on the sched. to work every sat!!!! that is NOT going to happen. I can't do it.

This is the first time I have had to look at my blog in weeks. Readership is falling off.....what is a blogger to do? a mommy blogger that is.

I also want to keep up my poetry posts on my other blog birdsword poetry (see link on my link list.this work computer sucks so badly I can't do too many things on it or it freezes up.) gotta go another patient is waiting!!!!! Oh I did it

Freedom to Marry Week

2007-02-12T19:55:00.000-05:00

I didn't know it was Freedom to marry week. I support this fully and had to post about it. I really have a lot to say about this and I have posted prior in other areas. I can't write too much now as I have a screaming angry child to tend to -so this post will have to do for now.

I will say this however-the lesbian/gay community deserve the right to get married. The government does not have the legal right to stop this, and religion should not stop the sacred union of love by its own blinding fears.

Fit for a King

2007-02-12T19:42:00.000-05:00

Qe gave in, after buying a brand new mattress three years ago, a nice sweet pillow top mattress meant to last a lifetime-we gave in and bought the king version. We can't handle it anymore, and we have given up and letting go of the "family bed". Sleepy's to the rescue-we will be sleeping in style tomorrow night - I even bought brand new sheets today-shit they are expensive! It is ok, we will finally sleep. My husband won't be hanging off the bed, the baby (aka Chen) won't be smooshed into the wall, The three year old (aka RikiTiki) won't be smashed between us. I won't be in pain from laying on my side all night long-we will once again have room.

Thank god we never had enough money to actually buy bedroom furniture, or we never would've gotten the mattress. The good news for my friends is when they come to sleep over (after my mother moves out) they will finally have a descent mattress to lay on and not a rock hard ancient musty thing that some of them complained about. However martyr mother will now complain. She will get the super sweet pillow top and say it is too comfortable. She likes to suffer on a rock hard mattress. I will never win. Once I accept that fact, perhaps life will be better. Until then-it is just me writing this all down for future me to look back and laugh!

*names are from an old family favorite book Rikitikitembo.

Snoring Baby Blues

2007-02-07T12:22:00.000-05:00

So it is Wednesday and I haven't posted yet....big deal. While I was unemployed I could post every day. Now that I am working like a crazy person without lunches most of the time, I can't post at work and I can't post at home. Oh dear blog, what have I done? Created a frankenstein? or just a blog without wings. We shall see. Blogging at work is different. No screaming kids, no spouse playing the guitar trying to distract me. I did try to blog on my poetry site and the postings just kept getting lost. Hopefully this will not happen here.

Wow, family must be inspiring, or I am too tired-I have very little to say. Maybe it is lack of sleep. The baby is all stuffed up so it is like sleeping next to a 40 year old man snoring in my ear. OH wait that is what I hear in my right ear, and now also in my left. So it is really is as if I am sleeping between two 40 year old men that snore. Wow, my exciting life. The cure for a stuffed up baby, drop some saline into his nose and suction the snot out with a bulb syringe. For laughs just squirt the stuff across the room and see where it lands. It is green/yellow and sticks like glue. Or do the right thing and squirt it into a tissue. Not so much fun though. The baby HATES this by the way.

Oh as far as names go how does this sound:
3.5 year old- Martin Luther King (MLK) b.c. he is great at passive resistance, plus MLK sounds like milk and he is addicted to that
17month old- will be Ghandi b.c. he is also great at doing passive resistance (you know pick them up they go limp and it is like picking up a sack of lead.)
spouse: spouse'ometer, spendy spice or bluesman

input people, I know you are out there.....
--------------------------------------------------------------
oh how about-
Pavorati for the baby because he has some set of lungs
ReeRah for the 3 year old cuz he wines like those horrible reerah bands (creed etc)
Bluesman for the spouse?
INPUT is good

A mothers whimsy: tales from the munchkin parade

2007-02-02T22:49:00.000-05:00

Every time I say the word "disgusting" around my 17 month old he sticks his finger up his nose and laughs. That is because I am constantly saying "that is disgusting" when my 3 1/2 year old sticks his finger up his nose. I just can't win! The baby thinks everything his older brother does is hysterical and worth copying. That includes belly farts, which he is quite good at giving. He loves walking around the kitchen picking up cheerios flung the day before and eating them. I have to constantly sweep up his mess so I don't have to get grossed out by both the mess and his eating off the floor. It is not like we are starving him or anything. He is in a size 3T....

I love when they grab the musical instruments and start playing them-though lately a lot of the instruments seem to be come "Fire shooting sticks" for my older son. They are really cute playing the little crocodile piano and the bongos. The baby has this cool looking dr. seuss musical instrument like toy that he loves to blow into, his brother will march around with the tin whistle (this also becomes a fire shooting stick). They like doing this at around 6:30am, very loudly.

The best is in the morning when he rolls over and says "mama, mama- swack swack swack" three juicy kisses on my cheek. His brother who sleeps between his daddy and I also rolls over and buries his hands in my hair he will say "I want to snuggle up with you mamma" before he gets out of bed in search of his father who always has a glass of milk ready.

Today was Pajama Day at school for the 3 1/2 year old (I am going to have to think of unreal code names for them soon this number thing is a pain). Pay 5 bucks to the leukemia fund and you get to walk around in PJ's all day. It is a great idea, the kids had a blast, plus they had pancake breakfast. He also announced on the car ride home that he likes donuts, especially "munchins". (Not a typo he just calls them that.)

Morning Crazies

2007-01-31T12:50:00.000-05:00

What kind of crazy life do you lead?

Here is my Tuesday and let me know what you think.

Got up after nursing the baby around 6:45
(my husband had been up since 5:30 got the baby a bottle, started lunch prep, and tried to feed the baby,took a shower and left by 7:10am)

I took my shower while playing peekaboo with the baby, I got dressed back in my pj's cuz I have learned not to get into my work clothing until after I have everyones teeth brushed. I got the baby changed and dressed, fed my three year old, and ate my breakfast w/ the baby.

It is now 7:15 am. I filled out the form for daycare, let the baby practice sitting on the potty, let him fling tupperware all over the kitchen while I emptied the dishwasher, prepped my lunch, changed the babies diaper again(poop this time)

It is now 7:30 time to start working on the three year old to get him dressed. He picked out which batman underwear he wanted to wear, fought me over the shirt and finally put his pants and socks on. We then played dragons w/ sock puppets on both children, finally took vitamins and brushed teeth....it is now 7:45am.

I got both kids downstairs, got their jackets on, hats, shoes, mittens, warmed up the car threw out the garbage, cleaned up the tupperwear, wiped down the counters, let my older son play with his trains and finally -finally got them into their car seats. I was out the door by 8:08 and left daycare by 8:38am. By the time I walked into my office at 9 am I was EXHAUSTED! But what a great morning we had!!!

white bar to blue circle

2007-01-27T16:11:00.000-05:00

What a beautiful afternoon for a quick hike in Harriman. I went on the white bar trail at the end of Johnstontown Rd. The hike was spontaneous and a different route. I left around 2:50pm so it was kind of blue grey and cold. I was a little nervous hiking alone at this time especially because I was going into the woods instead of staying on the wider trail. I hiked along the rocks and crossed over a partly frozen stream, thought about hibernating bears and said to hell with it why bother turning back. Last weekend a girl got lost hiking in the woods and she wasn't found until about 1 in the morning-I certainly did not want to be in her shoes. But I wasn't ready to turn around and give up. I wanted to see where this path would lead me.

The hike was spectacular. I went up on some ice covered rocks onto a rock out cropping. I climbed to the top and could see the Reeves Meadow parking lot. The sky was so pretty with thinning white clouds a bit of blue amidst the gray and dark blue mountains in the distance. It was very cold, but worth the walk. I would've gone further, but it was getting late and dark. I still had to be able to see the white bars on the tree to get back to the car. I was back by four.

Thank goodness for Harriman!

A post whilst nursing

2007-01-25T17:04:00.000-05:00

I have been slacking on the post-even my weekly poetry blogging may be forced to become monthly...I haven't had a moment to myself. Right now I am posting while nursing. Difficult, but not impossible to do.

Today at work I assisted during the sonos for women getting abortions. This was interesting and difficult. You have to view the products of conception after the procedure to make sure the MD got the entire fetus and sac out. When the fetus is about 11 weeks or so you can really see a lot but it is all about the size of a thumb nail. Like a little alien. I think it would be difficult work to sift thru the products everyday. I guess that is why it is only done once a week at the facility I was at. I am certainly pro choice and think it is up to every woman to decide what she will do. I am also glad these women were all offered birth control upon leaving.

On another note I discovered that the baby loves the Sex Pistols-especially the anarchy song. He gets a real kick out it. He loves bouncing around in his booster seat eating and listening to music. Other favs include: "happy birthday", and "frosty the snowman" with his big brother. The big guy currently forces us to listen to Feliz Navidad by El Vez while running around singing it at the top of his lungs. I wish the christmas cds would get put away already!

That is about it, oh except that I miss my best friend and wish she could be here for her 40th birthday with all her east coast buddies!

Letters I never wrote

2007-01-20T14:29:00.000-05:00

For years especially as a child I dictated letters in my head to people who really did something that meant a lot to me. Writers who I loved, musicians, artists,etc. I never actually sat down and wrote these thank you notes, but I meant to. As a child I was filled with this great sense of wonderment over certain things other people did and I wanted to thank them for it. I have always regretted not writing these letters.

Today, while driving in my car alone I was spacing out and I realized I was actually writing a letter in my head to someone I wanted to thank. I lamented the fact that I would never have the time to sit and actually write the letter and I realized. "Dummy! you have a blog, you don't have to write it and mail it out." (I am a lazy procrastinator that way.) "All you have to do is write it on your blog, send the link to whomever and the letter is done!" So there you have it, on days I am writing letters in my head of thanks. (or the occasional letter for anger) I will simply post here.

My first letter I would like to dedicate to Mr. Willie Nelson.

Dear Mr. Willie Nelson,

I am sure you hear this a lot, but I thought it was important for me to write to you. Your latest cd Songbird is so absolutely wonderful. It has moved me to tears many times over. Tears of joy.

I cannot stop listening to it. For a month straight I think I have listened to it everyday. The title song is my favorite. I think I listen to it at least 3-5 times per day. I can't stop. Hearing it, I fall in love with my husband all over again. Thank you a million times over for this beautiful song. Thank you for all the music you have played over the years.

Love,

Roberta

Surprise! I really love work...

2007-01-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

It is true, I really love being back at work. What I don't love is a miscommunication between myself and my supervisor at my new job. They are big ones too.

1. if I work a Sat. I thought I would get a day off, not true-Sat. hours are from 10-2 I still have to work half a day on Friday and get the rest of the day off. This is sort of ok, but not what I thought I signed up for. I prefer full day Saturday, with another whole day during the week off.

2. I have to work one night a week from 11-9pm. There are major daycare issues here. I have to now find someone to pick the kids up from 6pm until my husband gets home at 6:45. This blows. It is bad enough they are in daycare all day long, now I won't get to see them when I get home. (They are supposed to be in bed by 8:30-9pm)

I dunno what to do here. I really want to work for planned parenthood, I like my immediate supervisor a lot, but I am not thrilled with all this info that I didn't know I was signing on for. I
really don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

1, 2, 3 YOU'RE OUT!

2007-01-11T18:15:00.000-05:00

So hopefully Planned Parenthood is down with Momsrising.org and they aren't going to fire me for missing a day of work in my first week there. They just eliminated their archaic policy of 6 months and no vacation or sick leave down to 3 months so no pay today.

Holy crap things went from bad to worse. Not to mention the daycares three strikes and your out policy-that is to say three diarrhea diapers and momma gets a phone call. My kids been pooping out the wet stuff about 5 times per day, each one requiring a change of clothing. That new huggies leak lock just doesn't lock his technicolor stank in! My husband had to go to work today - he has been taking care of the kids since Monday. The plan was for us both to go to work today and my sons to go to "school". Suddenly last night my oldest developed an asthma like response to the cold air and I was up all night with him/listening/watching/praying. I stayed home to take him to the Dr. get a nebulizer treatment and bring the damn thing home to start round the clock albuterol treatments. (He thought that meant "treat" not treatment so at first he was psyched than he screamed than I caved and gave in to m&m's post nebulizer...) Thankfully he is doing much better but, the baby just keeps poopin'!

Luckily my mom is coming tomorrow to watch my 3yr old and I am dosing my baby with his iron vitamins tonight and tomorrow to keep the three strikes and your out policy down to a possible 1 giant explosion. (Iron is a well known constipator) I know that sounds kind of cruel, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I can't ask my mom to watch the two of them! I need to find a babysitter. Anyone out there know how to find a reliable babysitter besides hiring a potential serial killer from craigs list?

drowning in puke and poop

2007-01-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

So, I go back to work and what happens? The shit hits the fan - literally. The baby just stopped puking-projectile vomiting really on Sunday-when his brother decides it is his turn to start on Monday. The baby in sympathy really (I am guessing here) starts back up w/ the projectile puke. Suddenly I am running to the bathroom. I am cold, cramping -oh yes of course I am getting my period on top of everything else. The next morning-Tuesday I am supposed to go to work. I drag myself out of bed, shower and start getting ready realizing that I now hear my husband vomiting in the bathroom next to me.

Some people have parties, some go to music festivals we have puke festivals. I had to leave work early (only my second day) to come home and take care of my kids, because my husband could barely move. He is on the couch now moaning to god something about the "kiss of death" which really is his breath if you think about it. Oh roto virus why can't they find a cure for you???

Too bad I can't just "Shake my moneymaker..."

2007-01-05T21:30:00.000-05:00

Wishing I could just Shake My Money Maker

Soon my life will be catapulted back into the working world. I am thankful for the time I have spent with my family-but sad that it must end so soon. I hope I can survive the chaos that will come starting Monday am. I am trying hard to organize the family so that things won't be to hectic. I hope soon I won't be treading water in day to day life, not realizing that I am just an inch away from drowning.

I hope that this break will give me the insight I need to keep myself and my family afloat. I hope that soon I won't be viewing life as if I am about to be swept out to sea, but instead full of constant joy, expressions of love and utter happiness. What more could I ask for? As my children teach me to smile more, and as my husband continues to grin at my silly/sick humor-I can only hope that there will always be a sense of joy in my heart.

I can't forget to thank Elmore James for this inspirational song...
Elmore James, Shake Your Money Maker