Its Raining Out-So I'm Cooking...

So, Its been awhile, but all this rain is forcing me to do some indoor activities. These include reading Mark Bittman's latest book Food Matters.  Which has started me back to doing something I used to do all the time, cook up beans, only now with more flair. I made two pots of beans, Chickpeas which I added lemon juice, sea salt, cilantro, olive oil, & black pepper. I saved some for my rice I cooked yesterday. I also made lentils and a whole pot of lentil soup.  The problem is, I added a can of stop-n-shop tomato sauce.  I didn't realize had more than tomatoes in it. I has something called "spice" I am not sure what that means, but the soup tastes VERY salty now. Bittman claims "spice" can be another word for MSG. (Great I am trying to eat healthy, but instead I am giving myself palpitations with MSG.) However, I cannot find anything that substantiates that.  Anyone with info I would be happy to hear from.

Birthday Blessings

I had to update my blog asap. I spent my 40th birthday in birthday funland. I didn't want my 40th year to be remembered as bad. I had a great day, with lots of friends etc. My husband is amazing. He got me some fabulous gifts and has a heart of gold. He really treated me. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Plus I forgot to mention that it was also International Women's Day. This is a holiday that is near and dear to my heart for many reasons. (Not just cuz it is on my birthday.)

Anyway, that is all I have time for. I am supremely grateful for all the love and joy I have in my life.

My birthday wish would be to keep joy and love in my heart and surroundings. To have a happy and healthy family, for there to be peace on our beautiful planet, and for all children to be safe, fed and happy. That and for a personal shout into the universe for our family to be green by going green, getting more green and giving green away!

Turning Forty on the Rag

I am not sure what is going on with me-could be I am turning forty or it could be I am turning forty and will have my period at the same time, who knows? All I know is I am a little blue. Turns out that spring is not giving me the happiness I so need, nor the energy-even with the windows open.

Turns out I don't want to do much of anything-not exercise even though I know it will make me feel good. Not write, because it is so much work. I am only typing this because, well because I don't know what else to do right now. Home from work and I certainly DON'T want to clean the house.

Turning forty is supposed to be fun, the new 30 or something like that. I should go back out and get a tattoo, but I think around here it is too WT for us these days. My family isn't around, my friends are far away-I guess I am turning forty without the fun. I just want to cry, & I don't want to post this, but it is what I feel. And how honest is an online journal if you don't write what you feel?

I want to feel better, maybe if I just type away and post it, it will all be gone, all out there and into the world for better or for worse. So I don't have to feel so sad and well simply blue. I know we have plans for the actual date and I am excited to be with my husband and with the people that are nearby, but my mom and sister and family aren't here, my two closest friends are too far away caught up in their own lives at the moment-death and birth can really occupy the body.

Agh - cripes what is the use, I also don't want any fucking phone calls related to this. That is not what this is all about. I guess it is all about life and how getting caught up in the reality of life has kept me from being the fun loving person I know I am. The fun loving person I am fighting to be beside my gene pool of financial anxiety.

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2:50pm
Update:

I just exercised, so of course I feel better now.

Let me explain my self better. I do not blame anyone for my emotional outburst. I am upset primarily because I need a shift of consciousness in my life. Things are far too hectic in my life . I am scrambling to maintain friendships with people I love and never see, with people who are close and with those of whom are far away. I believe the type of person I am is someone who wants time to be with those of whom I love and enjoy their company on a regular basis. The time and energy this requires is more than I have to give-that is the unfortunate part. I am so tired, so stressed that I barely have time to ejnoy my family let alone my friends. The shift I am talking about is something that I would like this household to undertake, but I am not quite sure how to do it. It is not only about getting a new job with less stress, it is also not just about finances-it is about enjoying life. isn't that why you have family and friend to begin with?

Writing for Women's History Month

Over at What Tami Said there is a Women's History Blog Carnival from March 1st-13th. Submissions are due by Feb. 28th. For any woman who is interested in submitting a post, visit the above link to find out what the criteria are.

I think it sound fairly interesting. I hope to have something ready for the deadline. I am not sure that I will as I haven't really had any writing time for myself in quite awhile. It is odd, apparently I have either time to exercise or time to blog - not both. Considering that I am turning 40 next month and my cholesterol has been high for the past couple of years-I actually need to start getting healthier. So exercise has been winning out. I have a fear of becoming a medical statistic of family abandonment. But that is a whole other thing to write about. Anyway I really enjoy What Tami Said and I think that the carnival should be an interesting read.

Don't Flush that BlackBerry!

My husband told me something totally disturbing that he observes at work. Men go into the bathroom stall in the mens room talking on their cell phones. The stall for all you uneducated female readers is where men go to poop not pee. (Or a place to go if you are a homophobic married right wing republican senator interested in touching another mans "feet".) They do this in the corporate world while on a conference calls/business calls some of the time! How do they wipe? Where is the "clean" hand? What do the other people in the conference think of this invasion of privacy?

Men also think it is OK to use their BlackBerry while in a stall. This is called BBWP. My question is, how sanitary is that blackberry afterwards? It gives a whole new meaning for the BlackNuggetBerry as in YUCK! They leave while still using it and they DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS! My husband (who thankfully does not own a blackberry) observes this on a daily basis. I am happy to say he is equally as grossed out as I am.

Flashback Sunday or Recollections from Mammary Lane

image taken from AMNH website

We went to the American Museum of Natural History in NYC today. As we were getting ready to leave we slipped into the hall of mammals and I had a flashback to two years ago.

We were in the museum and my newborn (now two) was crying. My two year old (now four) was running around like a chicken without his head. I nursed my baby on the wooden seats with giant elephants as a backdrop. That is to say-I whipped out my mammary gland right there in the darkened Akekely Hall of African Mammals. How appropriate!

It is fun to link an institution as fabulous as the AMNH with such an amazing memory. I was exhausted and tired back then-I guess little has changed. I doubt I will ever get the chance to nurse again. So I am glad that I will always have the Hall of Mammals to remind me of my human-ness.

Dr. Tiller Needs Your Help

I received this letter from the Feminist Majority Foundation
and thought that it was worth passing on. Dr. George Tiller and his remarkable staff
need your help. They provide a really difficult service for many women and
families in need. I urge you to write his staff and thank them for the work they do
and if you have the money to donate to his help keep his clinic up and running.

This post was cross posted at BlogHer

Dear Birdsword,
Dr. Tiller needs your help! The extremists are trying to shut him down. In what could become a "witch hunt", a grand jury has begun its investigation of Dr. George Tiller for supposed violations of Kansas abortion law.

The grand jury was convened after the extremist group Operation Rescue joined with Kansans for Life to file a citizen petition under an 1887 Kansas law. It took only 6,186 signatures to launch this latest attack in a relentless campaign to close down this vitally needed clinic.

We must do all we can to keep this clinic safe and open. Please donate today - half of your contribution will go directly to Dr. Tiller to defray legal costs and half will go to our clinic defense team working to protect this clinic as well as many other women's health clinics across the nation.

Please also show your support by sending Dr. Tiller and his staff at Women's Health Care Services a letter, letting them know how much you appreciate their continued work to protect women's health and lives in the face of continuing attacks on their clinic.

Despite over 20 years of anti-abortion harassment, intimidation, and violence, his clinic was bombed in 1986 and he was shot five times in 1993, Dr. Tiller remains steadfast in his mission to provide compassionate and quality healthcare to women seeking late term abortions because of illness or very troubled pregnancies. He is there when few other doctors will help.

The Feminist Majority Foundation's National Clinic Access Project, the oldest and largest in the country, has worked with Dr. Tiller for more than 15 years to counter the constant attacks and threats of anti-abortion activists. We must make it clear now that we will not allow a small group of zealots pervert the law to advance their extremist agenda.

1. Donate now to help Dr. Tiller and the Feminist Majority Foundation keep clinics safe, open, and free of harassment and intimidation.

2. Please send Dr. Tiller and his staff a letter of support, reminding them how many feminists stand behind them in their fight for women's lives.

For Women's Lives,

Eleanor Smeal President	Katherine Spillar Executive Vice President

Remember, January 22nd is the 35th anniversary of Roe v Wade.
Without clinics, there is no choice. Please show your support today!