Ok, so in the LETS BE CAREFUL OF WHAT WE WISH FOR CATEGORY

I was laid off yesterday. Somewhere deep inside I knew it was going to happen. As much as I was griping yesterday-I wasn't quite prepared for this. Funny thing is I was actually looking at the postings on line at area hospitals. I am an NP and I work in women's health care. The large teaching university hospital I work for in is debt-specifically the dept. I work for is 7million dollars in debt. They decided after a new dean came on to lay 10 people off from my area. I am one of the 10. Whoppeee! They also decided to give us a sevrerance package-I am very thankful for that.

Relief? stress? anxiety? all a part of my new concept of me. How do I mourn the loss of a job that I have had for almost 5 years? How do I provide financially to the needs of my family, what kind of health care insurance will we have? All of this is going thru my mind. I want to cry, I want to jump for joy. I can start fresh, I can look for something closer to home, better for our family, but then how will we pay for daycare for our kids. That is the part I am also worried about. Right now we are in debt for daycare around here my salary will be nowhere near as good as it was in NYC. Will we make enough? I just don't know. I am so just looking for a space to cry right now, but I can't seem to do it. I took today off and well I just wanted to be alone to think about things and here I am alone blogging unable to cry.