I think I am in love with Tony Blair

Go! PM Tony Blair Go! I heard this thru the BBC on NPR this am. Per Mr. Blair :

Climate change fight 'can't wait'

I really hope the US takes a good look at this and we start to change policy and maybe even go back and SIGN THE KYOTO AGREEMENT!!!

Nipples on Ice

I was trying to read and post at the same time while nursing my baby. He kept popping his head off saying "mama?,mama!" like dammit pay attention to ME not the computer. I was feeling unsentimental and ignored him, I mean why can't a boob be enough???? I kept trying to cut and paste some links etc, at one point he completely fell off my lap, but was able to stand and staying nursing. In fact he never let go! Says alot about how horribly flexible motherhood has made my breasts. Anyway-I am almost done comments and everything when he clamps down and laughs at me as I cry out. I mean his little teeth are like vampire vice grips! OUCH! I said to him boobie bye bye and of course he cried-so I let him back on even though I swear he smirked when I said no biting....

NJ Supreme Court - take a vote/UPDATE

So the blog feministe has the complete update on how the vote went. Please read their post as it is way more complete analysis of the vothe than I could ever do here.

I am not really sure if it classifies as a yeah or nay but being hopefully optimistic on this matter I will say it is a yeah????. Thanks for the comments below. I am glad I didn't get any homophobic gay bashing stuff. That would've been totally pathetic and sad.

ORIGINAL POST:
Ok, so I know a am being optimistic here, but I HOPE the NJ Supreme court will vote yes for Gay Marriage. What is your say on this? Yea, or Nay and why? Please feel free to post your comments below. GO Supreme Court GO!!!!!!

I haven't posted in awhile, cuz I too bummed about losing my job. I am not feeling funny or thoughtful or idealistic, interesting or happy. Unhappily hungry is how I feel. I hate that I just want to EAT. I am awaiting a letter from HR regarding my lack of employment so I can get my family under health insurance from my husbands job. Right now we are under my plan b.c. I like it better. The new plan-who knows, at least we will be covered if the mother effin jerks at HR ever write the letter. They are certainly saying goodbye to me with a big F.U. Oh well what should I expect from such a place.

How to say hello

I love this link, it tells you how to say hello all over the world.

Fountain o' Puke

Oh my god I so wanted to write a post last night, but I passed out in a puddle of drool. One beer and I am a gonner. How pathetic!

Well after coming home late from work and picking up the kids I thought it was going to be a great night. I mean hell it was a Friday night! Until my 3 year old coughed until he puked into the garbage pail. The little guy was imitating his big brother by coughing also. Later we sat down on the couch and the little one coughed some more. I said and I quote "what are you doing? imitating your brother?" and before I could get brother out fully he opened up his little cherub mouth and a fountain of puke poured out of him. Projectile style! The mix of curdled milk and other gross stuff ended up in my cupped hands, all over him, me and the couch. (I thought I was going to catch the puke! silly me.) I implored the three year old to pull himself away from the tv to grab a paper towel. He finally did and couldn't pull it off the roll-that is when I started gagging and almost joined in on the pukey party. The night just seemed to go downhill after that....

Jackson Pollock for all

click your mouse and have fun

From Our Bodies Our Blog

October 17, 2006
Hate Crimes Against Girls: "Why Aren't We Shocked?"

The night of the murder of the Pennsylvania school girls, I turned off the television.

I'm generally a huge TV advocate who would rather discuss media representations than ignore them. But that night it seemed like death was everywhere, and I didn't want to watch. Three shows that I had landed on while absent-mindedly clicking the remote depicted violence against women. That was enough.

I tried that week to articulate the frustration that these killings managed to avoid scrutiny as hate crimes based on gender -- as pre-meditated mysoginistic acts. Two weeks later, New York Times op-ed columnist Bob Herbert tackles the issue head-on, challenging the cultural norms that contribute to the media's silence.

After noting that little of the coverage following the murders made much of the fact that only girls were targeted, Herbert writes, "Imagine if a gunman had gone into a school, separated the kids up on the basis of race or religion, and then shot only the black kids. Or only the white kids. Or only the Jews."

"There would have been thunderous outrage," Herbert continues. "The country would have first recoiled in horror, and then mobilized in an effort to eradicate that kind of murderous bigotry. There would have been calls for action and reflection. And the attack would have been seen for what it really was: a hate crime."

Unfortunately you need a NYT registration to read the column in full. Here's more of an excerpt from "Why Aren't We Shocked?":

None of that occurred because these were just girls, and we have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that violence against females is more or less to be expected. Stories about the rape, murder and mutilation of women and girls are staples of the news, as familiar to us as weather forecasts. The startling aspect of the Pennsylvania attack was that this terrible thing happened at a school in Amish country, not that it happened to girls.

The disrespectful, degrading, contemptuous treatment of women is so pervasive and so mainstream that it has just about lost its ability to shock. Guys at sporting events and other public venues have shown no qualms about raising an insistent chant to nearby women to show their breasts. An ad for a major long-distance telephone carrier shows three apparently naked women holding a billing statement from a competitor. The text asks, “When was the last time you got screwed?”

An ad for Clinique moisturizing lotion shows a woman’s face with the lotion spattered across it to simulate the climactic shot of a porn video.

We have a problem. Staggering amounts of violence are unleashed on women every day, and there is no escaping the fact that in the most sensational stories, large segments of the population are titillated by that violence. We’ve been watching the sexualized image of the murdered 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey for 10 years. JonBenet is dead. Her mother is dead. And we’re still watching the video of this poor child prancing in lipstick and high heels.

What have we learned since then? That there’s big money to be made from thongs, spandex tops and sexy makeovers for little girls. In a misogynistic culture, it’s never too early to drill into the minds of girls that what really matters is their appearance and their ability to please men sexually.

What Herbert is getting at is respect -- for childhood and for girls and women. We're so far along on what Herbert terms the "continuum of misogyny" that acts of violence against women merely need to be packaged pretty to be suitable for cultural consumption.

“Once you dehumanize somebody, everything is possible,” Taina Bien-Aimé, executive director of Equality Now, tells Herbert. Indeed.

Posted by Christine C. at 10:49AM

My very first time

I was young, in college and so very ready. My friends and I were prepared, well read and informed. We new this was something essential to our futures and well we knew we were ready to DO IT. Really, eighteen years is a long time to wait.

Together we walked to our polling spot in Amherst, MA. It was a crisp fall day. Senator Kennedy was running and I was so excited. It would be my first time alone in a voting booth, having watched my parents do it for years. Afterwards pulling the lever and letting the curtain fall open I felt oddly dissapointed. It wasn't even presidential. Everything was over so quickly. I kept going over and over each step in my head- did I pull the right levers? Did I press the right buttons?

It wasn't until I matured some and realized that afterplay was also important. Watching the country turn red or blue on really does add to the excitement.

Update on Michael Sandy

Hey Roberta,

Thank you for your kindness. I appreciate your concern. Things are overwhelming, but still manageable. Today
we spent the day on Long Island making the funeral arrangements with Mike's parents at the Funeral Home. They are such
sweet, humble, loving, softspoken people...the apple didnt fall far from the tree.

There will be a rally at City Hall tomorrow at 5pm. More info on that here:

Our dear friend Michael Sandy died on October 13 due to injuries from an attack on Sunday October 8. He turned 29 on Thursday, October 12.



A Memorial service and a Tribute is being organized and will be announced.

A Rally is scheduled to take place at 5 p.m. on Monday at New York City Hall.

The rally is being sponsored by People of Color In Crisis, the New York State Black Gay Network, Gay Men of African Descent, the New York City Anti-Violence Project and the National Black Justice Coalition.

contact : Friends.of.Michael.Sandy@gmail.com for updates and to be counted.

"Right now I'm in a transitional stage, which I feel we all go through at certain moments in our live to get to a better place...."
-Michael Sandy

How I almost killed the oven

Well Dear Bloggernauts, I did something so ridiculous today that I just have to post about it.

I almost killed my oven while cooking a chicken. I was so impressed with my organizational skills today-that as I proudly put the chicken in the pre-heated oven and thought, hey why don't I go an work out-oh if I do that I should be safe and LOCK the oven. So I pulled the lever to lock it and thought to myself, damn this is hot AND the lever sticks far out, maybe this isn't a good idea.

In my head I was visualizing my three year old trying to swing from the lock and getting a 3rd degree burn. So, I decided to unlock it-the thing is - the lever was stuck in the locked position. Not because I broke it, but because the visualization of the three year old swinging from it actually took place sans the 3rd degree burn (TG). And I guess his weight on it bent something inside the oven.

I tried diligently to un-stick it and well it would not become unstuck. The horrors of having a dead garlic stinking chicken in my oven overnight and till morning became so worrisome. My kid has a playdate tomorrow with a girl whose mother I haven't met yet-I will be JUDGED. I will be found out at my kids school that I truly am the biggest loser of a mother! This was my worry. Not the actual smell. (Which I think would be horrible since I recently found that the stink in the corner of the dining room was my giant soup pot that someone moved there (my mother) with out realizing there was still chicken soup stuck to the sides of the pot-chicken and garlic left out to rot really rots....) So I will say I was worried. So worried that I actually got my husband involved (after I bent the lock some more). He got out the: flashlight, hammer, three screwdrivers (2 flat head and 1 phillips) a wrench, pliers and a HACKSAW! Now mind you we just spent $650 on both of our cars for a hose and some tires-the last thing we need is a new stove, but yes the HACKSAW. I went downstairs to work out confident in my husband’s ability to work the stove.

1/2 hour later he came down and said he turned the stove off. What! off, no way-this is a freaking hormone free chicken and I actually used the mortar and pestle to mash the garlic and parsley. Just call me weekend suzy effin homemaker. No way were we losing this baby-not to mention the play date scenario I was worried about. So I ran upstairs, used the flashlight & realized what the problem was. I informed my husband and then took a shower (no need to add to the stench). I got out of the shower heard him banging away, ordered pizza and offered to hold the flashlight. He insterted two screwdrivers into the stove and used the pliers to tug at the lock - much to our astonishment it actually opened! Hooray! Chicken cooking, pizza for dinner!

I am totally amazed that we will have dinner already prepared for tomorrow! However-everyone is so tired that we can't go out on our big date to see The Departed. How sad-the whole reason I was cooking dinner early in the first place. It would've been our first movie in a theatre in almost 3 years! But at least we don't need a new oven...

I found this from the Have Fun Do Good blog

For all those interested in PVC free home check out this link:

update-Michael Sandy

Hey Roberta,

Thank you for your kindness. I appreciate your concern. Things are overwhelming, but still manageable. Today
we spent the day on Long Island making the funeral arrangements with Mike's parents at the Funeral Home. They are such
sweet, humble, loving, softspoken people...the apple didnt fall far from the tree.

There will be a rally at City Hall tomorrow at 5pm. More info on that here:

Our dear friend Michael Sandy died on October 13 due to injuries from an attack on Sunday October 8. He turned 29 on Thursday, October 12.



A Memorial service and a Tribute is being organized and will be announced.

A Rally is scheduled to take place at 5 p.m. on Monday at New York City Hall.

The rally is being sponsored by People of Color In Crisis, the New York State Black Gay Network, Gay Men of African Descent, the New York City Anti-Violence Project and the National Black Justice Coalition.

contact : Friends.of.Michael.Sandy@gmail.com for updates and to be counted.

"Right now I'm in a transitional stage, which I feel we all go through at certain moments in our live to get to a better place...."
-Michael SandyI am so sad for this man and his family.

I don't know who this man Ben Patrick Johnson is, but his link was sent to me by a friend of Michaels. I found it moving.

Ben Patrick Johnson on Michael Sandy

Butt Paste for Everyone!

Last night well, lets just say I don't recall sleeping very well. Somewhere in the middle of the night I woke my husband up and told him to take the baby, that I just couldn't handle it anymore. The baby was nursing all night long for comfort. Everytime I put the damn binky in his mouth is spit it out and started sputtering. He soudned like a lawn mower that wouldn't start. My boobs and my hip needed a break. John took him out and I fell back to sleep for probably five seconds when I realized the older guy had also climbed into bed with us an was now tossing and turning. Why you ask? Well because we ran out of pull ups last night and I figured lets give this a whirl. Maybe if we get him to pee before bed he will stay dry all night-no such luck. My kid is a big pisser. We both woke up in a puddle.

I quickly changed him, threw down some towels and plopped down. Only to wake up again to a horrible chirping sound-the alarm....and the baby crying again. Teething is a drag for all parties. His tush is raw and his gums are sore. Butt paste for everyone!

Update on Michael Sandy

See above link for NYpost article on this story.


Apparently kids used the internet to lure this my friends friend Michael out. They pretended to be gay and than beat him, scared him into oncoming traffic, beat him some more and stole his money.

This comes from my friends blog it was written in honor of their friend who I don't know. I want to post this as I am and always will be appalled by senseless violence. I can't post the link anymore, as it is myspace and it doesn't work any more. Above however is the NYT link to this story.

-------------------------------------------------------------------


I thought it was important for me to share my blog with you all today. Please say a prayer or think good thoughts for Michael Sandy today.

Monday, October 09, 2006, 11pm
thought it was important for me to share my blog with you all today. Please say a prayer or think good thoughts for Michael Sandy today.
Thanks.

Today's Blog:


I told a friend, earlier today, that the word is hope. Today's word is, hope.

Monday, October 09, 2006, 11pm

I can't quite describe with any dictionary what today's news makes me feel. This morning when I woke up there was news on the television that North Korea was test-firing nuclear weapons. International Security is, once again, in jeopardy. Funny, that didn't seem so real, a real threat that is. I thought, eh, it will all work out. That's how these go.

I looked at my phone, it was beeping at me. The message from Nick said, "call me." He answered his phone on the first ring and told me that Mike Sandy, [his former roommate, and our friend] was in the hospital. Mike was beaten up by two "white guys" and then hit by a car on the Belt Parkway. I must admit, the tone in his voice reminded of me of a similar phone call I got four years earlier. The good news this time was that nobody was dead. Mike was hurt very badly, but alive! Mike's story is not easy to tell. I am not even sure it's my place to tell it. So I will rely on my perception of today's news, but I must warn you, it's not a happy ending. Well, at least for today.

I left my house around noon and drove down to Brooklyn. I fully expected to be in traffic since that would make everything just perfect, you know what I mean? Surprisingly it was easy driving. I made it to Williamsburg in one hour and three phone calls. It's a good thing I charged the phone in the car – I would be on it most of the day.

I was prepared, I thought. I had my large iced coffee, a bacon egg and cheese, clothes for tomorrow, the laptop and my school work. My function, as I saw it, was to walk the dog [that was something Mike would have been doing had this not happened] and take care of the food factor for the guys when they returned home from the hospital. After all it was a long night for them. They had gotten the news the night before, late, around 1 am. There was a knock at the door, detectives. They got the address by running Mike's license plate. They couldn't use his ID because it was stolen. The police shared the news. Needless to say, the two of them were devastated. They spent the evening gathering information for the police. Mike's parents' number had to be tracked down, which took Nick a bit of time and ingenuity to make tangible. Nick and Jason went to the hospital with two of the upstairs neighbors and waited with Mike's parents.

They waited all morning and were given no news. Mike was on a respirator after being revived by Emergency Workers at the scene. There was a witness, she called for help. Someone at the hospital told Jason if there was anyone to be thanked after all this, it was those Emergency Workers. I told Nick I would be at the apartment taking care of things for the dog and whatnot. He told me about the Press sniffing around at the hospital, but I wasn't prepared for what I experienced when I arrived at the door to the apartment. As I rounded the corner off Manhattan Ave onto Meserole, I noticed the press. Like vultures they were lurking outside armed with microphones, telephoto lenses and - a mildly concerned but mostly nosey kind of look on their faces. The first one to approach me as I walked up to the door was from ABC News, Kemberly something was her name. She asked if I had heard the news and who I was. I admit, I was taken completely by surprise and felt very much 'put on the spot' by this. That's what they do, I guess.
I politely answered, trying to say as little as possible. I said what came naturally to me. I told her that I was here to support the friends and that I know him as well. I replied that he is a sweet, sweet guy. I believe the exact words I used were "a guy with a big smile and an even bigger heart," adding as I walked through the doorway, "hopefully someone saw what happened and will report it to the police to help us find who did this." I walked into the apartment sort of shaken and feeling even more uncomfortable. Tony was home and he too was wary of what kind of spin the reporters were looking for. They were sniffing away at the possible "gay-bashing" angle of this story.

The reality is that nobody really knows what happened except for those involved and most importantly, Mike himself. Throughout the afternoon, bits and pieces of a story were coming to light. Jason said that he had spoken to Mike earlier, around 6, and told him he would call him later to hang out. Apparently Mike was parked in an area known to be a spot where gays go to cruise other gays. At about nine thirty there was an altercation between Mike and the "white guys." It is still anybody's guess how it began but that led to a physical fight in which, it is said, Mike was beaten up. Fleeing for his life, Mike ran. Likely dazed and confused, he wound up on the parkway it self, in traffic. A car struck him and he lay there in the road bleeding and badly beaten as the car drove off. That in itself is something I don't think anyone can imagine experiencing, I know I can't. But – there's more. One of the "white guys" ran out onto the roadway. He grabbed Mike and dragged his lifeless body to the median where he rummaged through his pockets - robbed him and left him there - to die. When I heard this, I thought – animals. People who could do this are animals. Thank God for the woman who called for help. Mike was revived, but not conscious. He was transferred to a nearby hospital and remains there on a respirator with no apparent brain function.

As I walked the dog with Nick tonight, before he left to go back to the hospital, I asked him if he realized the depth of Mike's situation. He did. I try not to think negatively, I try to keep hope. I am hopeful that Mike will recover and the animals that did this to him will be caught and punished. As I look through the messages that his friends have left him on his MySpace, I can't help but picture him sitting at the table eating Thai food, rubbing his scratch off ticket while watching Paula Abdul on the DV-R and laughing. I picture Mike skating - like a champion - on the ice in Central Park. As I recall the photographs I took of him on that day, I hope. I hope that all the pain and the anguish that today's news brings with it is soon replaced with another day and another chance to see Michael Sandy smile.

Counting my blessings

One is passed out on the couch
The other in his highchair
The spouse is at mass- (someones gotta believe)
Relief
a quiet house.

The Bushwackers

Hey click on the ? mark, I can't figure out how to properly load this URL pic onto my site, but I assure you it is freakin' hysterical-especially if you AREN'T a fan of Bush.

Yeah!

whooo hooo got my fuckin' period today-what a thrill I will be nice and crampy for the interview w/ the big macha. Right now I am sitting home ALONE. Yep, that is right - let me repeat that for all you readers out there hard of reading: ALONE!!! Let me tell you how thrilling this is. I am rarely ever alone at home and I used to relish in the quiet moments of life by pissing them away playing solitaire at the computer, pulling split ends, and other boring non-essential things. These days time alone means-WOW reading a short story! or gardening, or cooking without a 1 year old trying to crawl back up my vagina! Maybe I will even have time to read today.


I dropped the kids off late this am , as I will be picking them up later this pm since the interview is at 3:30. I figured I would pre-prepare dinner. (Let me tell you something this whole meal shit is HARD. I don't know how parents do this part. Pre prepare meals/menus. I am a whimsy cook. I don't know how to plan ahead-but I AM trying. Gd bless the slow cooker!) Anyway, I am now feeling almost guilty, but maybe not too guilty. Maybe I will even clean something in all this spare time I have! This sense of freedom is insane- I keep wondering where is the anxiety I usually have about getting everything done AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. I feel calm, maybe it is because my inner Naomi Camp-bell reared her ugly head yesterday. Yep, the monster came out. I screamed at my kids. I hate doing this because, well she is evil and my son is scared of her. But man does she get a 3 year old listening quick.

I digress, I ramble. I am writing about being alone and the absolute sense of solitude I am having. AAAAAHHHHHHH! What pleasure. I feel like the picture above: blue, tranquil,cool.

The interview

I go for another interview tomorrow with a different MD. I hope this one works out. Here is what I want: A part time job with a full time salary! HA HA

Ok how a bout a job where I work 8-3 everyday and when my kids go to regular school from 8-2:30. I want to be able to get a 401k,disability insurance,life insurance,education incentive,free onsite daycare-and 4 weeks vacation-paid. Hey if I got all this I could have another kid! Plus I want my husband to get the great paying job where we don't have to worry about mine anyway. So I can quit mine and write.

I so badly want a new career choice-I am putting this out there in hopes that change will come my way-here is to not being afraid of CHANGE! ( and I don't mean those annoying dimes and nickles at the bottom of my bag)

Things I Should Remember

As I bent down to pick up all the plastic container tops my one year old flung out of the cabinet with glee-I noticed the dirt and stains on the floor and cabinets. I quickly compiled everything together hoping he wouldn't notice I was putting them away. I was thinking about how stressed out I am about finding a job, about how hard it is being the primary wage earner for the family and wondering will I be able to get another job that pays so well? And thinking, how could they(my employers) do this to me after all I have done for them?

My son crawled over to me stood up,put his arms around me and proceeded to hug and kiss me with such sweetness that I couldn't help but think, that this was what I should be remembering, this was what I should be thinking about. I hugged him back and held onto him as he pounded my back, and I realized just how happy I truly am.

Shopping

Does anyone else out there get confused at Target? It is so big and bright and I can never figure my way out. I guess I don't shop there enough. I do recognize that they are all essentially laid out the same-but why so bright? It hurts my eyes. At least the people were nice that work there unlike at Petco where they are constantly under-staffed-its like going to Friendlys for your pet-the service is sooooo slow! That is it for my posting this weekend. I am simply too tired to think of anything else to say!