Saturday, December 02, 2006

Rambling Onwards-a discussion of death,finances and other fun facts

My baby is sleeping across my lap. I nursed him to sleep while I was on the computer. He is so heavy that my leg is asleep...It is Saturday night and my three year old is happily watching a Dora episode upstairs while his father strums away on the kid sized acoustic guitar. The kids like to play his guitar and kind of use their guitar as a step stool.

We had a great family day today. I love taking my children to stores now. They are so much fun. The three year old is so fascinated by stuff I take for granted. Like mannequins, fishing gear and lip balm. (I bought him is own one today and he is THRILLED that he as "makeup".) We were in the outdoor supply store looking for hat and mittens as he already lost his spider man hat that I bought at Target. The gloves were too big from the set-why I will never buy a hat/glove set again.
Anyway when we first got in the store he was so excited "look up mommy, look up" he yelled "kayaks!!!!". He knows I love kayaks,& he'd never seen one in a store before-especially not one hanging from the ceiling.

The baby just loves to walk around touching everything and refusing to hold my hand. He swats me away. I usually resort to putting him in the cart because he is just too difficult to contain in one place. Although I have discovered he loves eating at Starbucks b.c. he loves drinking the vanilla milk they sell there (Horizon). He has a blast sitting in the big chairs waving at all the people while eating his snacks. I only stop off at Starbucks because one day I forgot to pack a lunch for us and he was starving. He loved the fruit and cheese platter and it was better than going to a flippin' fastfood fest. The other time we went was the day I took him to the Peds office and had to wait a half hour for his medicine to be made up at the pharmacy. I figured an oatmeal raisin cookie and a cup of joe for me wouldn't be so bad.

I am adding this all in because I don't want the casual reader of my blog to think that a recently unemployed mamma such as my self typically has the luxury of hangin' at the local coffee establishment sucking down double espresso grande soymilk lattes and all. GUILT! At least I didn't use my "Workforce"atm/credit card at Starbucks, imagine if they were monitoring purchases and all and I get a call. "Ma'm this cards intended use is for paying bills, not sipping coffee!" and I would yell back "oh yeah than why do all the ATMs at the local OTBs accept this card without a fee!!!" (I looked up atm locations, my vice is coffee NOT gambling). Wow this is a ramblin' post.

I made a huge mistake about three weeks ago asking my son which way he wants to go home after I picked him up from school. I asked if he wanted to go the caboose way or the cemetery way. He said cemetery and as usual he asked me what a cemetery was. This was the first time I had an example for him. Normally I just say it is a place where people are buried after they die. This time I said the same thing and then added a bit about someone who we are close to whose mother just died. Well I surely wasn't thinking. Death and Race are two topics I have been holding off on until I could figure out what was the best way to discuss them. We are still in the middle of Religion and that is hard enough. I did not mean to bring death into the mix just yet, but I did, and now we have to deal with it.

A child just does not understand the concept of "everyone will die at some point in time". That really doesn't sell to a three year old. So I am trying to figure out the best way to explain it without lying. Now every time he hears about death (we were watching a bit about Mama Cass and the whole part about how she died came up) he gets real quiet. I will ask him what he is thinking about and he usually says "I don't want you to die mommy". I am trying to tell him not to worry, that most people die when you get sick and old -older than nani and poppop is how I try to explain it. I have also tried to stop complaining around him about how old I feel and am trying to tell him that mommy and daddy are really young (for almost 40...). This way he doesn't think I am so old I am going to die anytime soon. The thing is, what if I do die from so sudden freak accident. Who will be there to explain all of this to him? I could just kick myself for bringing up cemeteries to begin with!


Anonymous said...

1. If you die suddenly, your husband and many others will be there to help raise your children and give them the love they deserve.

2. I don't know what the party line is, but it seems like death is one of the things that needs to be better addressed in our culture - sort of like sex. My parents never talked to me about sex and they never talked to me about death. I don't know the appropriate age to talk to kids about either, but I think both subjects should be discussed directly, honestly and as early as possible.

Don't put your fears/issues/whatever onto your children about death. It is a part of life and is natural.

And of course, I understand how children get freaked out about their parents dying. I thought about it my whole life - and I am still okay...

Nurse Practitioners Save Lives said...

It's hard to discuss topics like death, sex, race, and politics. My youngest will be 9 this month and he would be devastated if something happened to me or my husband. I try really hard to take care of myself so that I will be around for a long time. My husband will probably not last as long due to his numerous health issues. I just hope he lasts until our youngest is a teenager at least. Thanks for commenting on my post at Blogher!

Roberta said...

It is hard, staying healthy and all. Thanks for reading my post, I look forward to checking out your site too. Plus I hope your husband stays well also! You should check out Womb of Her Own on my link list. Its from a canadian woman who is studying to be a midwife.