Saturday, October 14, 2006

How I almost killed the oven

Well Dear Bloggernauts, I did something so ridiculous today that I just have to post about it.

I almost killed my oven while cooking a chicken. I was so impressed with my organizational skills today-that as I proudly put the chicken in the pre-heated oven and thought, hey why don't I go an work out-oh if I do that I should be safe and LOCK the oven. So I pulled the lever to lock it and thought to myself, damn this is hot AND the lever sticks far out, maybe this isn't a good idea.

In my head I was visualizing my three year old trying to swing from the lock and getting a 3rd degree burn. So, I decided to unlock it-the thing is - the lever was stuck in the locked position. Not because I broke it, but because the visualization of the three year old swinging from it actually took place sans the 3rd degree burn (TG). And I guess his weight on it bent something inside the oven.

I tried diligently to un-stick it and well it would not become unstuck. The horrors of having a dead garlic stinking chicken in my oven overnight and till morning became so worrisome. My kid has a playdate tomorrow with a girl whose mother I haven't met yet-I will be JUDGED. I will be found out at my kids school that I truly am the biggest loser of a mother! This was my worry. Not the actual smell. (Which I think would be horrible since I recently found that the stink in the corner of the dining room was my giant soup pot that someone moved there (my mother) with out realizing there was still chicken soup stuck to the sides of the pot-chicken and garlic left out to rot really rots....) So I will say I was worried. So worried that I actually got my husband involved (after I bent the lock some more). He got out the: flashlight, hammer, three screwdrivers (2 flat head and 1 phillips) a wrench, pliers and a HACKSAW! Now mind you we just spent $650 on both of our cars for a hose and some tires-the last thing we need is a new stove, but yes the HACKSAW. I went downstairs to work out confident in my husband’s ability to work the stove.

1/2 hour later he came down and said he turned the stove off. What! off, no way-this is a freaking hormone free chicken and I actually used the mortar and pestle to mash the garlic and parsley. Just call me weekend suzy effin homemaker. No way were we losing this baby-not to mention the play date scenario I was worried about. So I ran upstairs, used the flashlight & realized what the problem was. I informed my husband and then took a shower (no need to add to the stench). I got out of the shower heard him banging away, ordered pizza and offered to hold the flashlight. He insterted two screwdrivers into the stove and used the pliers to tug at the lock - much to our astonishment it actually opened! Hooray! Chicken cooking, pizza for dinner!

I am totally amazed that we will have dinner already prepared for tomorrow! However-everyone is so tired that we can't go out on our big date to see The Departed. How sad-the whole reason I was cooking dinner early in the first place. It would've been our first movie in a theatre in almost 3 years! But at least we don't need a new oven...

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