Thursday, October 05, 2006
whooo hooo got my fuckin' period today-what a thrill I will be nice and crampy for the interview w/ the big macha. Right now I am sitting home ALONE. Yep, that is right - let me repeat that for all you readers out there hard of reading: ALONE!!! Let me tell you how thrilling this is. I am rarely ever alone at home and I used to relish in the quiet moments of life by pissing them away playing solitaire at the computer, pulling split ends, and other boring non-essential things. These days time alone means-WOW reading a short story! or gardening, or cooking without a 1 year old trying to crawl back up my vagina! Maybe I will even have time to read today.
I dropped the kids off late this am , as I will be picking them up later this pm since the interview is at 3:30. I figured I would pre-prepare dinner. (Let me tell you something this whole meal shit is HARD. I don't know how parents do this part. Pre prepare meals/menus. I am a whimsy cook. I don't know how to plan ahead-but I AM trying. Gd bless the slow cooker!) Anyway, I am now feeling almost guilty, but maybe not too guilty. Maybe I will even clean something in all this spare time I have! This sense of freedom is insane- I keep wondering where is the anxiety I usually have about getting everything done AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. I feel calm, maybe it is because my inner Naomi Camp-bell reared her ugly head yesterday. Yep, the monster came out. I screamed at my kids. I hate doing this because, well she is evil and my son is scared of her. But man does she get a 3 year old listening quick.
I digress, I ramble. I am writing about being alone and the absolute sense of solitude I am having. AAAAAHHHHHHH! What pleasure. I feel like the picture above: blue, tranquil,cool.